The day I was almost raped..changed my life

The day I cried out.

Today I want to write about the day God began His incredible journey of healing me.

People may look at me now and never even think or believe where I would be if God might’ve never rescued me from a dead lifestyle.
. . . . . .

But when I was only 16 my heart had already felt much pain.
Much hearbreak.
Much rejection.
Nights I would think of suicide.
I thought I knew what I wanted.
I DIDN’T.

How is it that Someone can actually heal and restore your broken up soul!

I have experienced it. I know.

And it all started with a cry.

The year was 2002.
The month.. January.
I did the dangerous.
I took off with a boy I didn’t really know at all.
But hey, I was a teen girl with a bruised and torn heart remember.
We tend to do some pretty stupid things when our heart is broken or wounded.

We drove around a bit. Then… As it got dark and started to snow. He didn’t take me home. He drove his car to an alley right next to a field. And turned off the engine.

Yes. He wanted to have sex.
But no. Of course, I didn’t want to.
He tried to convince me and no not with words.

But with the little of integrity I had left inside of me I looked out the passenger window and (either in my mind or in a whisper) I pleaded:
“God, get me out of this”.

He did. He really really did.

I wiped my tear away slowly because I didn’t want the boy to see me crying as I turned to look at him. He stared at me said,
“Do you want me to take you home”?

Just like that.

I said yes. (Of course)
He started the car and drove me straight home.
I never ever seen him again.

I walked inside my home and into my room. Closed the door.
And cried.
I cried like a baby.
On my knees. I cried out.

Here I was a 16 year old girl that could’ve been raped.
I know God saved me that night.
I know He heard my plea.

And as I cried out in my room that night. God was already beginning the process of healing me.

I gave my heart to Him that night.
That broken, bruised, torn, abused heart. And in return He began to restore me. He began to change my heart and cleanse my mind.
It’s unbelievable really. It truly was a miracle.

Yes, there are things I wish I had never experienced as a young girl. Things and situations that have left scars. But if I had never experienced them I wouldn’t know now how it feels to be healed and restored.
And believe me I do. I do.

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Sick and Tired of Rejection they become Strippers

What drives a girl to become a stripper.
To become so lost and deprived of any true love but still willing to endure the hell involved.

What really makes a woman want to degrade herself by sharing(selling) her body with(to) the world.
To go to bed at night with tears rolling down her cheeks knowing it’s not worth it. But waking up in the morning continuing the vicious cycle.

REJECTION.

I look back now and see my little heart as a small girl. Rejection was written all over it.

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Not only was I rejected by the first man in my life. My dad. I was then later rejected by boys.
I was stinkin’ tired of rejection!
Tired of offering my heart over and over again. And in return receiving pain, lies, and simply being ignored.

Somewhere in my sick mind I knew I could lose rejection once and for all! Finally.
I knew I wanted to pack my bags and be done with my enemy ..rejection.
My bags contained all I needed to endure this new life I thought I wanted.
My “luggage” would be packed with…
Anger
Bitterness and Hatred
Lust
Rebellion
Greed

And only God knows what else.

My anger, bitterness, and hatred towards my father and men in general would be my fuel that would drive me indeed.

Well, it would’ve driven me but my little journey never began.
Because you see at the age of 16. That lonely girl found herself alone in a room, crying out. Yes. She had already packed her bags nice and full. But at the end all the pain. All the hurt. All the lies and anger would not be enough to hold her back from running to The Saviour!

Could there really be a Man that wouldn’t reject her?? She didn’t know but she had to take the chance.
She unpacked her heavy bags. And she cried. Because for once in her life she could finally just be herself and no longer fear rejection. It was as if He wiped away her tears and cradled her broken heart.

She waved bye to those demons and the devil himself that had been waiting outside the door for her. The path that had been paved just for her vanished. And a new one appeared almost instantly.

How can it be that the Creator of the universe cares for me.

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken
I’m accepted. You were condemned
.
I’m alive and well- Your spirt is within me- because You died and You rose again.

You see I realize now that Jesus was rejected FOR US. For me.
I had been rejected countless times. But when I ran into His open arms that night He recieved me.

All that past rejection would’ve definitely caused me to become someone I really wouldn’t have wanted to be. To do things I wouldn’t have really wanted to do.
13 years later scary to think where I would be.

Girls,
It’s time.
Time to UNpack your bags. Let it go. And run into the arms of your Saviour.
I promise He will welcome you.
Of course He will. Remember He was rejected so you wouldn’t have to be.

Lots of Love,
SongsofIntimacy

From rejection to finally being accepted.

Porn Porn Everywhere

It’s everywhere!
But that’s only part of the problem

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The biggest issue is that it is going into our minds. Seeping in. Making it’s home in our very own hearts!

This is scary people.
Very VERY FRIGHTENING!!

It is what a lot of young boys are growing up on.
Kids hearts and minds are innocent, tender, trusting and need to be safeguarded from the negative influences of increasingly violent and sexualized media!

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Pornography teaches sex without love, intimacy, tender touch, responsibility, and commitment.”!!
http://t.co/bpXEWtjKw2

Pornography is more then a small sexual “secret”. Believe me I’ve read enough, I’ve seen enough and I have felt enough to KNOW it is an extremely wicked problem!

It may have started as a “fun” guilty pleasure but it has now (thanks to the internet) grown into a massive and festering addiction.

Pornography should be banned as SUPER-ADDICTIVE and DANGEROUS drug/behaviour much like Heroin, Crack, Crystal Meth!:
http://t.co/LAgMCysbgL

The research is there.
The findings are true.
Porn is as addictive as drugs!
Addicts crave it. Not because they necessarily like it.
Chances are they don’t even want to give in and watch it. But the cravings are there and they only continue to get BIGGER every time the addict gives in and bites!

It really is a very sad epidemic.
If you dont consider yourself a porn/sex addict then you might deny these facts.
You might only consider yourself “a moderate user”. But as any drug addict will testify. The cravings will grow undoubtedly.

And with porn there is NO EXCEPTION!
Just ask the man that can tell you that it all began when he just started with “normal” porn videos and/or images. But eventually his body needed more. His “fun” ended with an arrest of child pornography.
But you say that won’t happen to you. How can you be sure?
Are you willing to take that risk?

Is porn really that good that you would sacrifice everything for it?
Not only do you lose your purity and if you’re a man your manhood. But if that’s not enough your family, your wife, your children, and your respect is also all on the line!
So tell me is it truly worth it?

I’m sure the husband that has already lost it ALL would tell you it’s not!
I’m sure the wife that has felt the agony and excruciating heartbreak because of it would tell you it’s not!
And I’m sure the children that have been neglected and pushed to the side all because of their dad’s porn/sexual addiction/problem would cry out it’s not!

I pretty sure we all have heard the stories how an addiction started with a few beers. A couple cigarettes. A line of coke. No addict intended to become a full blown out addict.

No human being with a heart intends to neglect, abuse, push away, scar, or destroy the very ones they love and who love them.

Pornography leads to affairs. (Because it is an affair)!
Pornography can lead to rape. Pornography leads people into hellish fetishes that they would have never ever thought about in the first place without porn.

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Pornography IS NOT NORMAL.
How can humans being degraded, abused and used be normal??

You watch that porn video and it starts off feeling good but believe me; not too far away there is a man or woman who is alone in his/her room pounding the floor, asking God to take away this vicious addiction! And he/she would tell you don’t do it! Don’t even begin with that one video! Don’t even think about it.

I as a parent would honestly advise my children to not even begin messing around with any drug.
So the same goes with porn.
It is a drug!
And I pray that one day it will be illegal and completely banned.
The repercussions are huge!

I am very positive that many reading could easily admit to falling into the trap of pornography.
I am very positive that many reading could admit that pronography did indeed lead them to do other things they truly did not even want to do.

Sex was NEVER meant to be dirty.
Sex is more then an act.
It’s something so deep.
Something so personal and private but not because it’s shameful. But because it’s meant to be between two people who sacrificially love each other with no doubt, no reserve.
And when you love somebody so sacrificially, & so immensely you do not want to share that personal and private bond with nobody!! No, not a picture, not a video, no peeking! That bond, that personal time… NO ONE should be able to sneak upon, to peek upon, or to watch it!

Sex is an intertwining of a husband and wife’s soul. They are one. And God, yes God looks upon that as good.

Your soul is costly woman.
You can not just give it away to any man. I mean you could but why? When your soul has so much more meaning and purpose! Your soul longs to be one with another soul. But you can in no way give yourself(your soul) away repeatedly to guy after guy with NO consequences.
You hurt yourself painfully more then you know when you do. It’s almost like you burn away at your own heart. Your heart over time becomes hardened and numb.

That is what I believe happens to all those precious girls in those porn videos. At the end they lose out.
Oh what many of them would give just to gain back their innocence.

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And they have the porn/sex addict to thank for a lot of their pain.
For demand fuels the porn industry.
Kill the demand. Kill the porn industry.
Not that easy. I know. But it’s a start.

There may be a lot we can’t do.
But I know there is way more we CAN do! Even if it’s a small change.

So come on! Lets fight this demon!
I believe in you.

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* * * * * * * * * * *
On Twitter: @songsofintimacy
And help share awareness with this hashtag #LetsFightThisDemon

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photo credit: H o l l y. via photopin cc

Why buy the cow? If the milk is free?

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“Why buy the cow……when the milk is FREE”?!… 

I’m pretty sure many men have said this, thought this, figured this, laughed at this, AND have actually LIVED IT!

So what does it even mean.. Let me break it down:

Let’s just say someone gave you a pretty nice car, or maybe an ugly looking one but hey it runs and the best part? THEY GAVE IT TO YOU…FREE!! Yup, no charge. All yours. You can drive it whenever. Everyday. All day.

Now let me ask you……..

Would you pay for the car even if they gave it to you for..free?

Would you work to save up for the car? OF COURSE NOT!  It’s already yours. 

There’s NO need to work for it….since its already all yours.

Than Ladies why do you give yourself away for free and than expect a man to marry you. 

Ladies, why do give it up after knowing him for a day? week? A month?  Before marriage?

Than become upset when he no longer works to win your heart.
Why would he have to when the “milk” is free.

Ladies, why would you dress half-naked or with skin tight clothes than cry about it later when you find out all he really wanted from you was only what you were “advertising”?

 

 

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God made women beautiful, delicate, sweet, valuable, worthy. It doesn’t matter if a “man” tells you otherwise. But we gotta keep ourselves expensive!! And by expensive I mean…..
No sex mister till you can PROVE that your a ONE WOMEN MAN! (And honestly for me that proof comes when he can put that ring on your finger and say ‘I DO’). And a good man will WANT to prove it to you more easily if:
(Now you may not agree BUT I speak with experience…)
No intimate touch….till your wedding night.
(For me that included: no kissing, no hugging, and of course no lovemaking..;)

Ladies can complain that most men are just dogs that want one thing but if women are giving it to them …practically for free or very very cheap then why would they want to buy the cow(marriage) or (faithful commitment), if the milk is FREE??

Now I salute all you men and Christan men that don’t allow yourselves to try the “milk” until you have paid for the whole thing….!!

Because that is where true love lies dear ladies and gentlemen…

Ladies: Allowing and declaring that men prove their love to you.

And no not by buying you a stuffed animal or a nice card. I’m talkin’ REAL, TRUE, UNFAILING LOVE! A trustworthy love.
A love that puts you before their own “needs” and lusts. A self-less love.
A love that wants to protect. Your virtue. Your body. Your HEART.
A LOVE that knows Who created it in the first place and realizes that they wouldn’t dare mess with something so fragile, so beautiful, and delicate!

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

-1 Corinthians 13 (MSG)

I’m so thankful that my husband and I both wanted to wait till our wedding night.
We both wanted to try it God’s way.
We both in the past had tried it “our” way(the world’s way).

Some could say having sex WITHOUT commitment can be fun BUT is it really fun when you wake up to find out he only wanted you for your FREE “milk”??
Or when you hear that he’s already went through 5 girls since dumping you?

See if you choose to save yourself till marriage(REALcommitment) yeah there’s a chance you still might get hurt.
And if you choose to save yourself your boyfriend might decide to leave.
But I just believe the risk is worth it.

I mean your risking it either way if you choose to just give out FREE “test drives” anyways.

Risk saying No when he’s calling you or smooching all over you.

Risk saying No by not putting yourself in situations where it might be tempting to say yes, and give in.

For me my relationship with God is pretty much the main conviction I had that sustained me.

I am now going on 12 years of marriage and one of the best parts of the whole thing is I am now able to share this victory with my son and daughter!

Now I know many hearts may have already given in but don’t lose hope. Get back up and the more you draw near to your Maker and Creator the easier it will become. Because you’ll realize that God doesn’t say ‘Wait’ because He’s a mean God just waiting to strike us.
But that He loves us too much to NOT warn us and protect us.

Your sexual desires were meant to attract and bind you to your spouse. So if your married use that power girl!

And if your single and it’s getting just too hard to wait hopefully reading these blunt quotes will help:
Click here !!!
AND CLICK HERE! For some encouragement.

Also u can go check out My No Sex Challenge story!

And My First Kiss story!

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When did abusing women become the norm?

Tell me. What would you do if you seen a man in public abusing a woman?

Slapping her around. Puncking her around. Pushing her around.
What would you do or how would you handle that situation especially as a man?

Not to long ago I watched this video about how people responded when they witnessed a couple (two “actors”) in the middle of domestic abuse.

It was good to see that people stood up and intervened!

But for me the best scene was when a man came from behind the boyfriend(actor) and kinda tackled him down to the ground to ‘rescue’ the girl.
It actually made me want to cry even because of the man’s bravery to step in and help!
And even after they informed the man that it was not real and just part of an experiment to raise awareness on domestic abuse. The man continues to ask the girl if she’s okay.

Then it made me think…
“Public” abuse of any kind is considered horrible, illegal, and shameful. BUT what about all the “private” abuse that goes on? You know.. abuse that is kept on the down low.
Like exploitation of women and children!

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Or the sexualization of girls.

It’s pretty much everywhere.

Turn on the T.V. BOOM! There it is.
Walk around at the mall and it’ll slap you in the face.
Turn on the radio and yup it’s there too.

And if all else fails. Well, just give it up for porn. Because that sucker will chew you up and spit you out. Leaving you disrespecting girls and callous towards women in general.

No wonder women easily walk around believing they are only worth what they can do sexually!

And the sad part is men sit by and just watch!
They don’t come to their rescue. They don’t run in harms way to save us.
Instead of using their strength and power to push aside or “tackle” whatever is hurting us. They give it all away to their own selfish sexual desires.
Not even realizing
they are left spiritually castrated.
For sexual immorality indeed sucks out all of a man’s valor and strength.

Proverbs 31:3-
O my son, Do not give your strength to women

Proverbs 23:27-28-
For a whore is a deep pit, And a seductress is a narrow well.
She also lies in wait as for a victim, And increases the unfaithful among men.

I can’t speak for a man because I’m not one.
But I could only hope that men would STOP allowing women to be treated as objects that are only used.
And instead magnify their actions that would proclaim that women are human beings to be LOVED!

A man might ask: How?
And this is what I would recommend as a woman myself.

If and when they see a woman being objectified (which means treating a person as a thing, without regard to their dignity).
When they see a girl being sexualized.
Stop! Speak up! Say something!
Help her! Rescue her!
And many times that could simply mean
-TURNING OFF THE T.V.
-CHANGING THE MOVIE. -Or changing the music you hear.
-GIVING UP PORNOGRAPHY for good.
-Speaking to their daughters about modesty.
-Speaking to their sons about respecting all girls.
Yes, even if they are dressed like prostitutes.

It would be awesome to see men try it.
Next time they came into contact with a girl/woman that unknowingly had the words “Use me” written all over her. Truly look at her. Into her eyes and tell yourself ‘she is somebody’s daughter’.
Engrave it into your mind that she is worthy of respect and honor and love. Not that she might be dressed like it. BUT because she is a human being just like you.

At the end of the day. When all is said and done. We ALL want to be loved. No matter if we think we deserve it or not. No matter if everyone else told us or made us feel unwanted.
We all need love.

So let’s all try it.
Let’s do our part in NOT allowing ourselves or other women to be treated as things.

*Sadly, I believe lots of people take part in helping the exploitation of children and women without even knowing it.

A man can sit there and watch porn. He can sit there unmoved while a women is getting raped and violently abused in every way possible. He can sit there and witness the exploitation of a girl AND NOT BE MOVED TO RESCUE HER. TO SAVE HER?
What is wrong with that picture?!

I can only hope and pray that women everywhere would stand up, take control and shout NO MORE! to what is being done to them.

I can only continue to hope that men everywhere would push away the vices and gain back their strength once again and FIGHT FOR US!
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And for ALL the men that already are (yes they do still exist)
THANK YOU!
May your reward be great!

~~songsofintimacy. 💋

True Sex=pure physical tenderness

I once believed that sex was somehow connected to aggression.

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In a world that glamorizes pornography, pimps, and lust. It’s fairly easy to get sucked into the lie that sex is not special, not truly intimate, and NOT RESPECTABLE.
That sex is just something “everyone” does solely
and ultimately for self-pleasure.

That is exactly what this world would want you to believe.

And I did. I fell into that ocean of deceit.
I can’t tell you when I did. But I believe it had to have been someplace during my childhood.

My vision and idea of sex became distorted.

If only someone would have told me or better yet if I would’ve believed that true pure sex DOES NOT fall into the same category as violence and aggression!

True intimacy DOES NOT feed off of humiliation of a woman.
***That is one reason why pornography can NEVER and WILL NEVER substitute or even come near to comparing to what God created sex to be.

God intended sex to be PURE PHYSICAL TENDERNESS.
Say it again. Out-loud this time. Slowly.
PURE – PHYSICAL – TENDERNESS

Those three words alone caused me to view sex different than what I had believed sex was.

I went years not really knowing or understanding what sex was all about. Even after I married.
And maybe I still don’t understand it fully but one thing I know without a doubt is that: the belief of sexual intimacy that this world holds IS NOT TRUE! That the view of sex that so many people carry IS NOT REAL!

And you can bet that it has a lot to do with living in a strong pornified generation.
Where based on a survey that was done 64 percent of American men and 20 percent of women view pornography at least monthly. AND… you might want to sit down for this…. 18 percent of men believe they may be addicted to pornography. That’s more than 20 million men in deep trouble.

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Porn alters the brain.
Porn dehumanizes women.
Porn promotes rape. It fuels the rape culture.

After swallowing all that…it’s No wonder why we have too many men walking around really “believing” that sex is just a loveless, cheap, repetitive act.

*Galatians 5:19-21MSG
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage.

Do you really believe that is what we were created for? No.
We are created for more then this garbage that trys to suck anyone in.
It is not racist.
It is waiting to feed off of you.
If you let it.

My heart and mind had become it’s victim at a way too early age.

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I fell into it’s snare. Unknowingly.
And even though I probably wouldn’t have admitted it…..my actions told a different story.

I grew up in a home where a true marriage was never modeled. Almost every relationship around me was a bad example of what it should’ve been.

I didn’t know a thing about modesty,
self-control,
respect,
chivalry,
honoring,
commitment,
integrity,
loyalty.

You see I gave myself away at 15.
But what I didn’t know at the time was that I had already given myself away long before that.
I had slowly given my heart and mind over to “beliefs” that I thought I knew to be TRUE.

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I thought attention and desire alone was love.
But in reality they were traps that led me deeper and deeper into one of the biggest lies I would end up believing.
That sex was everything but love. Everything but pure. Everything but bonding.
Pretty much anything but what God had created it to be.

And those “beliefs” led me and were leading me to some very dark roads.
A road that I now know (12 years later) if given the chance would’ve been pornography. Crazy to think that something I extremely ABHOR now is something I could’ve been a part of.

Every porn worker(star), every stripper, every sex worker willingly or unwilling had a childhood dream once. And I promise you it wasn’t to grow up and become a prostitute, a whore, or a sex slave.

One thing we all have in common is: We all were at one time in a sense innocent. We believed in love. In Hope. And if someone would’ve told us at that time that sex indeed equaled pure physical tenderness and NOTHING LESS. We would’ve wholeheartedly believed it.

What if I told you that sex was supposed to be a soul-bond forever with
the person you chose to spend the the rest of your life with.
A bond only you would share with that person all your life long. A commitment. A holy gift.

Not something that was meant to be forced. Not something cheap or loveless. Not something just done to excite or entertain others. Not something dirty and impure.

To me it is so very sad that it can take years for someone to actually realize that. When it’s always been the truth.

When you understand Who created intimacy in the first place…you’ll begin to understand what it is. And what it’s NOT.
I believe that is the place where men and women in a sense can gain back that innocence.
It’s hard. But bad habits can be broken. Brain maps can be changed.

We are created for intimacy.
Just not the kind this world, the media, or porn tells you.

I am now no longer ‘bound’ to those “beliefs” I once thought to be true. Because now I know the truth. And the Truth has set me free!

John 8:32
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

It hurts my heart to know that I was stuck in that pit of lies for so long. Even after I was saved and married. Coming to a point where I couldn’t even enjoy intimacy with my husband because of the lies deeply embedded inside my mind. But God so graciously shined light and exposed it so He could purge it and wash it away.
I am a work in progress.
…From glory to glory friends.

There is always Hope. No matter how messed up our minds have become.
We live in a fallen world.
But the garbage this world would have you eat could NEVER exceed
the reason you were created.

For true, pure, wonderful intimacy first and foremost with your Creator. A love so clean and relishing. That you could never again allow a man to treat you the way you once believed they were supposed to.

image[Freedom]

True Freedom is peace my friend.

Believe it.

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photo credit: NeoGaboX via photopin cc
photo credit: loop_oh via photopin cc
photo credit: Geoff LMV via photopin cc
photo credit: melizards via photopin cc

Begging for love

Why do you beautify your way to SEEK love?   -Jeremiah 2:33

It hurts me to see so so many girls beg for love.
So many of them seeking to be loved. And sadly, willing to do about almost anything to get it or feel it.

At only 15 yrs old I was willing to give myself away for “love”.
I willingly dressed in a way that I believed would gain me “love”.
I behaved in ways and did things that I can look back at now and know that it was all just an attempt to have and feel “love”.

The problem was… that I didn’t even know what love was.

I thought love was… a boy wanting me because that must’ve meant I was beautiful. Right?

So I desperately tried to do things that would make me ‘feel’ “beautiful”.
But that was before I knew what love meant. What love is. And what love IS NOT!

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We run after things or run after people hoping that they will make us feel beautiful.
And sometimes it works.
But it’s always temporary.

Girls might put on extra make-up. (I know I did).
They dress to impress. (Showing as much skin as possible or by hiding under designer named clothes).
And sadly, Oh so many fall into the MULTIPLE SEX PARTNERS TRAP!

Giving up their virginity, their self-worth, or their dignity for a night of “love”.

But under all the attempts they are just simply begging for love.
Without even knowing it.

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I begged for what I thought was love and when I believed I had received it I couldn’t let it go. Even though I should’ve. Even though others could clearly see that IT WASN’T LOVE.

It was like some twisted cruel joke that I continued to be a part of.
Except I wasn’t laughing but all the while the devil thought it hilarious.

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I thought I had finally found “love” when I was 15.
But this so called love didn’t last. Even though the young ignorant girl that I was believed it would.

I had given up my virginity.
But little did I know I had also lost so much more.
I had burned away more of what little self-respect I had.

The boy I had given myself to never loved me. How could he? When he hadn’t known what real love was neither. But no matter how many times he disrespected me I went back to him.
Of course, I had to. He was the only form of “love” I knew and had.
And so as the hole in my heart grew. The door I had ignorantly opened was about to pour out a hellish pathway intended for me by the devil himself.

A path so unbearably tormenting that if I had known I would’ve probably went into a complete state of hysteria.

A road full of horror.
A road full of shameful acts.
A road full of unimaginable pain and hurt.
A road covered in lies, guilt, regret, and disdain.
A road I will never truly know because only months later.. (January of 2002 to be exact)
my begging for love came to an end!

But you have played the harlot with many lovers;
“Yet return to Me”, says the Lord.
-Jeremiah 3:1

I learned I didn’t have to beg.
I learned I didn’t have to beautify my way to seek love.

The love I had always wanted was only found in the One who had created it and proved it the day He sent His One and only son to earth to die a bloody and horrific death.

John 15:13-
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

I John 4:19-
We love … because He first loved us.

And I have learned that there is NOTHING that I can do that can make Him love me any less.

Romans 8:39-
nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So why beg?
When you absolutely don’t have to.
The truth is this friend….
When Christ created you He created you with wonderful plans in mind. But the devil always has plans of his own as well.
Once we as women stand up and believe the truth that we don’t have to beautify our way to seek love.
We don’t have to beg for “love”. We will see more men rise up. Less girls allowing themselves to be used.
Because remember love that must be begged for is not truly love.

God gave up His only son willingly. For you. For me.

Think of it like this:
You were held captive alone and tormented. Afraid and abandoned.
No hope from being rescued from your horrible master.
But than a King from who knows where leaves all his majesty, all his comfort and riches to SEEK YOU!

Because that is REAL love!
**REAL LOVE SEEKS YOU.**

Why do you beautify your way to SEEK love?   -Jeremiah 2:33

Oh and to conclude that story …. That King finds you! And not only rescues you but also destroys ALL power of your once horrible master! Of him ever taking you captive again. Of him forcing you to do things unimaginable.

So of course you become mesmerized by this kings sacrificial love.

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Well that is what Jesus has done for you. When He died that awful death on the cross.

He seeks you. But of course He is a gentleman and will not force Himself upon anyone.

He seeks and waits.
Ready to rescue you from your horrible tyrant of a master.
The devil.
Ready to destroy for good that road the devil has led you on. Or is about to lead you on.

Like my Bio states if the King had not or should I say if I hadn’t allowed him to rescue me that night in January of ’02.
Chances are that I would’ve went down that pathway the devil had for me. A road of unforgettable and tormenting memories.

When you realize you no longer have to beg for love. You no longer need to beautify your way to seek love. You will be free.

…but perfect love casts out all fear..
-1 John 4:18

And believe me when I say it’s a beautiful and humbling thing to finally be free!

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With lots of love,
Songsofintimacy

Jeremiah 2:24-
Those who desire her don’t need to search, for she goes running to them!

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photo credit: http://beyondwaiting.com/2010/12/11/huggingbabyjesus/

She’s NOT what she’s wearing…she’s what’s IN her….

You know I believe a lot of times women are judged mostly by what they wear or not wear.

And I’ll be the first to admit I’ve probably done it and sadly I’m pretty sure I’ve also been the target.

And now believe me I know that their are times where my eyeballs may have wanted to fall out after seeing a girl walk by wearing next to nothing or something extremely bizarre and well…I think that’s just human reaction.

But what if….what if for like one day God allowed us to look past that (which at times can be hard) and see into every woman’s heart.

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What would we see? What would you see? What would I see?

A brokenhearted soul that had believed in love once….so long ago. But after the molestation or rape she hated love and anything that even looked like it.

A beat up and bruised soul that had lived her life trying to make her husband happy only to be the subject of all his rage and anger night after night.

A lonely used up soul that continues to give herself away just trying and hoping to fill up that huge void in her heart that her daddy left when he walked out of her life for good.

Or maybe you would find a heart beating for all the wrong reasons.
For prestige.
For popularity.
For greed.
For revenge.
For success.

Or a heart possessed and poisoned but wanting and waiting to be free from
unforgivenes
bitterness
selfishness
lies.

In the end we are all pretty much the same.
We all long for love and kindness.

What we wear does not necessarily always reflect or reveal what is in the deepest parts of our heart. Looks can be deceiving.

For example in some countries they take it to the extreme with forcing their women to cover up basically from head to toe. Believing that is what classifies them as modest and pure.
Which IS NOT TRUE!

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What about their hearts?!
Because what is inside someone’s heart is who they really are!

So a woman can be wearing a potato sack or a thick blanket to cover her whole body BUT that doesn’t make her any holier or pure if her heart is far from it.

OR vice versa a girl could be revealing her arms or shoulders or some of her neck or maybe even a swimsuit but her heart could most definitely possess purity, godliness, wholeness, righteousness and truth.

So like the title states:
She is not what she is wearing but she is what is in her ..HEART!

Now that doesn’t give me the excuse to dress like a prostitute or what I believe is immodest while declaring and proclaiming that hey it’s all good anyways since my heart is whole and doesn’t carry all that ‘bad’ stuff.
Yeah-Right… That right there shows pride and rebellion honey.
Which if you are not a self proclaimed Christian than knock yourself out.
But for us women that are living our lives to please our Saviour Jesus than we should go the extra mile of maintenancing (maintaining) our heart and being an example of modesty. 🙂

Yes, even when we don’t want to.

Because in the end it’s what is in our heart that will answer for us.

Jeremiah 17:10-
I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve”.

Proverbs 4:23-
Above all else, guard your heart; for out of it flows the issues of life.

But now don’t feel condemned because remember
If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything. -1 John 3:20

Our hearts are deceitful little things but if you have surrendered it over to Jesus Who formed your heart in the beginning than He will speak to you and help you keep it maintained be sure of that.

So pray for people’s hearts.
Perhaps too many times we pray about their actions. Oh God, please help them stop doing that or saying that…..But what comes out of a person is what is in a man.
So believe God to change their heart. And believe God to change yours.

Something I believe God showed me recently is unless a man’s heart and spirit changes than they will stay in the same boat.

Personally my heart is disgusted and saddened with sex-trafficking and pornography especially child pornography. And I would pray about it but I don’t remember ever praying that God would change the hearts and spirits of the people involved. Well since being shown this I have started praying specifically that God would change the heart and spirit of those on top (meaning the top dogs, the ones with a lot of power) in these horrendous crimes.
Because than and only then will life’s be transformed for eternity.

So let’s not make the mistake of letting what she’s wearing decide for us who she really is. And hey even if by chance it is than may our heart become saddened and choose to pray either than puffed up in a holier than thou attitude.

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Freedom to choose your man and be a lady while doing it

Yesterday was Independence Day in the beautiful U.S.A. Land of the free. Because of the BRAVE!

That means we have many many privileges and rights that many other countries do not.

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I am forever thankful that God allowed me to be born here.
I may not have had the best childhood but I did partake and enjoy of the many privileges of this great land.

BUT as I look around…it saddens me because I watch so many people especially women (because that is who I mostly write to and about here) who throw their freedom around like a wet dog.

What freedom am I talking about?
( (Clears throat ) )
The freedom to choose who they ALLOW to have them. To touch them. To kiss them. To hold their hand. To marry and live with. And yes to be intimate with!

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So if we have that privilege why do so many choose to sleep with dogs?
And my meaning of a “dog” would be: but not limited to:
A whoremonger-
a person who has dealings with prostitutes, *especially a sexually promiscuous man*.

Pretty much the opposite of a whore. So pretty much a man-whore.

Now I’m not here to judge anybody.
If that’s who you are and that’s what you willingly choose than of course that is on you. BUT I know there are girls/women out there that wholeheartedly DO NOT
want to choose that kind of man to share their hearts with much less their bodies!!

So guess what girls!?
YOU DON’T HAVE TO!!! You have the right, the privilege, the freedom to CHOOSE…
To say NO to that boy that wants to put his dirty paws all over you!

To say YES to modesty, even though so so many girls are walking around revealing what was only meant for their husband’s.

To say YES to respect, to virtue, to true love, to dating WITHOUT sex. You know (and this is a shocker) real dating. Such as going to dinner, talking over the phone, shopping together, laughing together WITHOUT SEX or being all over each other!
That still exists you know.

You have the freedom to save yourself till marriage!
You have the freedom to request that the man you choose to date open the car door for you. Buy you flowers, in other words “WOO you”

Back in the day, love relationships were easier because they were well defined. There was courtship instead of dating. Men wooed women. Now men and women hang out and hook up. Many people have sex thinking it’s the beginning of a relationship rather than having a relationship first and then expressing their love and commitment through sex.
– See more at:
http://loveforsuccessfulwomen.com/2012/08/let-yourself-be-wooed/#sthash.W85rDmc4.dpuf

You get to choose whether or not you want to date or be courted. If you’re consistently let down and feel unfulfilled in your experiences with potential partners, try letting a man woo you instead of date you. (This could mean) letting him open doors for you, plan dates, pay for your meals (you can still offer), keep his word, give you flowers, etc. It means treating him with respect and trust – (And allow him to treat you likewise).
See more at: http://loveforsuccessfulwomen.com/2012/08/let-yourself-be-wooed/#sthash.W85rDmc4.dpuf

You can also check out this article I found here that could help with the wooing. 😉 Getting a man to woo you.

But believe me I didn’t grow up knowing that men were made to cherish us, truly love and care for us. Crazy but I didn’t know that!

And I believe so many girls in this pornified generation don’t really know that or believe that.
We have sex to become close when in reality sex is a privilege that God created for inside of marriage.
If he’s not even close to what you would want your son to become than why give him something so precious and worthy as your heart and body?
Don’t settle for way less than you deserve.

Some may ask… But why marriage? Why do I have to wait till marriage?
Well simply put did God create marriage or not?
Because if He did than He undoubtedly knows better. Right?

The time before marriage is the stage to realize if this is the man you want to share the rest of your life with. So once married you both can share and bask in the privilege of intimacy. With No fear. Or doubt.

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Come on use your freedom for what it’s worth!
You can leave the sex part as a privilege for your future husband to gain. Not something for him to have already possess.
And if when courting you come to find that he IS NOT what you would want your son to be or absolutely NOT someone you would love for your daughter to one day marry than you will be able to cut him off faster and easier if there was no sexual intimacy going on.

Read this book and you’ll understand.: “HOOKED”.
You can find it here!

So women use your independence, YOUR FREEDOM to let go of all those guys that only want to use you, and disrespect you. You do have the power.
A real man is wired to rise up to the level he needs to and has to to survive. But why should they if they don’t have to or need to.
They can get free sex, they can shack up with any girl and receive wife benefits.
They can watch pornography anytime and almost everywhere for easy and fast but not truly satisfying “quickies”.

Ex-porn producer reveals Myths of pornography

Yes, there’s a lot of things we women cannot help when it comes to making men rise up.
BUT there is a lot we CAN DO.

You check out a few of these other posts from me and see if in there you can search out something you can contribute.
A beautiful woman and a pigs snout.

Oh baby give me some chivalry.

QUOTES THAT MIGHT LEAVE YOU SPEECHLESS.

My prayer is that women would use the power and freedom they have to (without words) call men (with their actions) to rise up and become knights with shining armor.

And for all the women out there that maybe have given up on love.
After being hurt over and over again. Indulge and immerse your soul in The Man that first created your heart. There and only then will you know what to expect from a real man.

And for all the men out there that have risen up to the challenge of becoming a gentleman by realizing that women half dressed are really someone’s daughters. By choosing to respect women even if they choose to not respect themselves. By protecting their virtue.

And don’t forget to thank God everyday for this wonderful privilege we call freedom.

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16 yrs old and 14 sex partners

Doctor: You have Chlamydia

16 yr old girl: blinks

Doctor: How many sex partners have you had?

Girl: In my lifetime?

Doctor: Yeah, Lets start with your lifetime.

Girl: Fourteen

Doctor: Do you use condoms?

Girl: Sometimes..

Doctor: How do you decide if your going to use a condom or not?

Girl: If it’s serious.

Doctor: How many serious relationships have you had?

Girl: Four
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For those of you wandering….Yes. This was an actual conversation between a doctor and patient.

I still remember
coming home that night after giving myself away for the first time.

https://songsofintimacy.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/things-dont-always-work-out-the-way-you-want-them-to/

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Losing your virginity is giving yourself away. And that is what I did that night.
Only if I would’ve known I would regret that night for the rest of my life.
Sadly, chances are this girl will too one day. The nights she gave herself away.
Some might argue “she’s only experiencing” but what if we were meant to only give ourselves away to one person.

Chances are this young precious girl will continue to do what she’s been doing.
Unless she meets someone that cares. Someone that she feels really cares and loves her. Someone that she can trust.
Maybe that someone is you?
I was only 15 that night.
Looking back I had no one really that I could trust. Someone who could’ve shared with me the truth.
What truth?

That I was truly worth more!
That my heart would only take so much!
That giving away my body exchange for that feeling of love was not real!
That no matter how many boys told me or made me feel pretty, I would never deeply believe it untill I believed it!
And let’s be honest I didn’t.

I felt ugly.

I covered myself with a ridiculous amount of make-up.
Hoping and thinking That it would make me pretty. And at times it did the job. At least that’s what I believed. But the problem was it would only make me feel pretty/worthy for awhile but deep inside my heart I knew I wasn’t truly pretty.
I could have easily looked around me and quickly noticed all the really pretty girls and I knew I couldn’t compare.

So if I was that “someone” that had the opportunity to befriend that young precious girl.
I would share with her:
GOD most definitely has a plan and a destiny just for you.
And none of it weighs upon how much or how less you can compare with all those other girls.

Having sex with 2 boys or with 14 WILL NOT EVER cause you to deeply and wholeheartedly believe that you are beautiful!
Because your worth does NOT come from them!
Let’s say one day:
You alone painted a beautiful and magnificent picture.
But no one else seemed to think that it was indeed magnificent.
They looked at it as ordinary.
Did not pay much attention to it.
But one day here comes walking in the president of a top art museum.
Taking one glance at your art instantly WANTS it. And decides to buy it for millions.
At that point would it matter for a second what any of those other people “thought” about your drawing?

OF COURSE NOT!!

Well, your CREATOR created you beautiful and magnificent! Yes, some people may see you as just plain or ordinary. They may not see your worth and how beautiful and magnificent you truly are. But the King of kings, your Creator and Maker surly does!
He fashioned you perfectly.

Psalm 139:13-16 MSG:
Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—You’re breathtaking!
*Body and soul, I am marvelously made!*
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out, You know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.

None of those boys can make you believe that you are beautiful and worthy!
Yes, maybe they can make you feel pretty for a little bit.
Or maybe make you feel accepted and wanted for a minute.
But at the end your heart will remain the same. Believing what it believed
in the beginning.
Because your worth does not and cannot come from them or from sex. Or from drugs. Or from alcohol. Or from anything else.

It can only come from the One who formed you and knew you even before you were conceived!

So maybe one reason why I came home that night after losing my virginity still feeling the same. Still broken. Still lonely.
Was because my heart remained the same.
You see you can share your body with any amount of boys you choose. Letting them inside your body.
But you can never let them inside your heart.

There’s only one being you can allow inside your heart and that’s Jesus Christ.
And once you do. You can realize how much worth you had the whole time.
Your worth NEVER lessened. It always remained the same.
It’s just that the only One who could make you believe that was the Only One who made you in the first place.
Your artist. Your Sculptor. GOD.

His love for you never runs out.

It can’t.

Your His workmanship.

Your His responsibility.

Don’t ever forget that friend.

Now go and find a precious girl you can share this with. They’re waiting.
Their hearts hungry. Thirsty. To believe so much more.

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