True Sex=pure physical tenderness

I once believed that sex was somehow connected to aggression.

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In a world that glamorizes pornography, pimps, and lust. It’s fairly easy to get sucked into the lie that sex is not special, not truly intimate, and NOT RESPECTABLE.
That sex is just something “everyone” does solely
and ultimately for self-pleasure.

That is exactly what this world would want you to believe.

And I did. I fell into that ocean of deceit.
I can’t tell you when I did. But I believe it had to have been someplace during my childhood.

My vision and idea of sex became distorted.

If only someone would have told me or better yet if I would’ve believed that true pure sex DOES NOT fall into the same category as violence and aggression!

True intimacy DOES NOT feed off of humiliation of a woman.
***That is one reason why pornography can NEVER and WILL NEVER substitute or even come near to comparing to what God created sex to be.

God intended sex to be PURE PHYSICAL TENDERNESS.
Say it again. Out-loud this time. Slowly.
PURE – PHYSICAL – TENDERNESS

Those three words alone caused me to view sex different than what I had believed sex was.

I went years not really knowing or understanding what sex was all about. Even after I married.
And maybe I still don’t understand it fully but one thing I know without a doubt is that: the belief of sexual intimacy that this world holds IS NOT TRUE! That the view of sex that so many people carry IS NOT REAL!

And you can bet that it has a lot to do with living in a strong pornified generation.
Where based on a survey that was done 64 percent of American men and 20 percent of women view pornography at least monthly. AND… you might want to sit down for this…. 18 percent of men believe they may be addicted to pornography. That’s more than 20 million men in deep trouble.

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Porn alters the brain.
Porn dehumanizes women.
Porn promotes rape. It fuels the rape culture.

After swallowing all that…it’s No wonder why we have too many men walking around really “believing” that sex is just a loveless, cheap, repetitive act.

*Galatians 5:19-21MSG
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage.

Do you really believe that is what we were created for? No.
We are created for more then this garbage that trys to suck anyone in.
It is not racist.
It is waiting to feed off of you.
If you let it.

My heart and mind had become it’s victim at a way too early age.

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I fell into it’s snare. Unknowingly.
And even though I probably wouldn’t have admitted it…..my actions told a different story.

I grew up in a home where a true marriage was never modeled. Almost every relationship around me was a bad example of what it should’ve been.

I didn’t know a thing about modesty,
self-control,
respect,
chivalry,
honoring,
commitment,
integrity,
loyalty.

You see I gave myself away at 15.
But what I didn’t know at the time was that I had already given myself away long before that.
I had slowly given my heart and mind over to “beliefs” that I thought I knew to be TRUE.

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I thought attention and desire alone was love.
But in reality they were traps that led me deeper and deeper into one of the biggest lies I would end up believing.
That sex was everything but love. Everything but pure. Everything but bonding.
Pretty much anything but what God had created it to be.

And those “beliefs” led me and were leading me to some very dark roads.
A road that I now know (12 years later) if given the chance would’ve been pornography. Crazy to think that something I extremely ABHOR now is something I could’ve been a part of.

Every porn worker(star), every stripper, every sex worker willingly or unwilling had a childhood dream once. And I promise you it wasn’t to grow up and become a prostitute, a whore, or a sex slave.

One thing we all have in common is: We all were at one time in a sense innocent. We believed in love. In Hope. And if someone would’ve told us at that time that sex indeed equaled pure physical tenderness and NOTHING LESS. We would’ve wholeheartedly believed it.

What if I told you that sex was supposed to be a soul-bond forever with
the person you chose to spend the the rest of your life with.
A bond only you would share with that person all your life long. A commitment. A holy gift.

Not something that was meant to be forced. Not something cheap or loveless. Not something just done to excite or entertain others. Not something dirty and impure.

To me it is so very sad that it can take years for someone to actually realize that. When it’s always been the truth.

When you understand Who created intimacy in the first place…you’ll begin to understand what it is. And what it’s NOT.
I believe that is the place where men and women in a sense can gain back that innocence.
It’s hard. But bad habits can be broken. Brain maps can be changed.

We are created for intimacy.
Just not the kind this world, the media, or porn tells you.

I am now no longer ‘bound’ to those “beliefs” I once thought to be true. Because now I know the truth. And the Truth has set me free!

John 8:32
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

It hurts my heart to know that I was stuck in that pit of lies for so long. Even after I was saved and married. Coming to a point where I couldn’t even enjoy intimacy with my husband because of the lies deeply embedded inside my mind. But God so graciously shined light and exposed it so He could purge it and wash it away.
I am a work in progress.
…From glory to glory friends.

There is always Hope. No matter how messed up our minds have become.
We live in a fallen world.
But the garbage this world would have you eat could NEVER exceed
the reason you were created.

For true, pure, wonderful intimacy first and foremost with your Creator. A love so clean and relishing. That you could never again allow a man to treat you the way you once believed they were supposed to.

image[Freedom]

True Freedom is peace my friend.

Believe it.

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Memories that could kill..

Do you have memories that still haunt you?
Or maybe not haunt but ones that try to pop their head up from time to time.

And every time they do….they always bring shame regret, and guilt along with them.
And you find yourself wallowing in the same pain, the same hurt, the same lies of the past.

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The weight is so heavy at times that it seems as if there is a huge brick on the back of your head.
And this brick causes you to walk with your head down as the memories re-play in your mind.

You wish you could go back.
Maybe re-do a few things. OR erase a lot of things.

But what’s done has been done.

We all have our own bundle of unhappy and at times tormenting memories that hide deep within us.

The ones that don’t leave us alone. The ones that take us back to that very moment or day.
The ones that make us question “what was I thinking”?!

Personally for me its been almost 13 years but I can still remember the nights….
The nights I thought of suicide.
And Ending it all.
Thinking no, Believing that it would end all my pain, hurt, and heartbreak.

I remember the night I knew that I knew I could’ve been raped.

I remember the night I looked out the window and prayed “GOD, GET ME OUT OF THIS”!

I remember the nights I chose to give myself away so cheaply. Mistaking it for love and acceptance.

Times that I chose to get involved or taste things I should’ve never!

Memories that have been burned into us so deeply. That sometimes
we begin to believe all the lies again.

That it doesn’t matter how far you’ve come. That it doesn’t matter that you’ve changed.
Or worse: that your still the same person. You’ve never changed and you never will.
Your worthless!
Your dirty!
You’ll never amount to anything!
It would’ve been better if you had never been born!

And as you sink into that ocean of lies you hear depression knocking. You feel suicide wanting to invite itself over once more.

But in the midst of it all.
He whispers. You hear it but the lies try so hard to drown it out!
He calls you by name.

Isaiah 43:1
But now, thus says the Lord , who created you, .. And He who formed you, .. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
Especially when you realize your the one needing it.

Many times people say “Well, I can forgive but will never forget”.
But there is One who actually forgives AND forgets!

Psalm 103:12
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Micah 9:17
You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

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There is nothing more amazing than knowing that all our wrongs, all our past can be washed away.

So what if you woke up one day and believed with all that is in you that you had been forgiven. That all the memories that would love to haunt you forever were just exactly that. Memories.
Long gone forgiven memories!
Now I know that some memories are far from forgetting when you actually have to live with the ‘consequences’ or viable evidence every single day.
But it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been forgiven.

I recently read a MIND-BLOWING testimony!!!
Of Annie Lobert a survivor of more than a decade of sex trafficking-working as an exotic dancer and a high-class escort.

In her testimony she talks about the memories. That would haunt her. She even began having terrible nightmares.

The past can be an ugly thing. Especially when it knows we haven’t let it go. It would want nothing more than to cling to us, to the core of our hearts till death.

So bring your past…..lay it down. And watch as He throws it all into the sea of forgetfulness.

Yes, my memories are still there….deep deep down below somewhere.
BUT now I use them you could say as a weapon!
Because I use a lot of them now to share with others how amazing the power of forgiveness really is. Like the times when I meet those young 14/15/16 year old girls that are walking on that road I once did.

I have the privilege to share some of those memories with them.. all in the name of just letting them know they are NOT alone and never will be. That NO matter their past.. it can be washed away!
And the best part.. that they too can one day use it to encourage others that your past does not have to represent who you are now.
THAT WHAT WAS MEANT FOR EVIL GOD USES FOR GOOD!

That your bruised past, and all of those haunting memories unfortunately may not ever be erased from our memories but they can be *forgiven*. Oh so beautifully forgiven.
And Yes, even used for good.

Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

**You see sharing our experiences (our memories) with others CAN indeed save their lives!

Those memories are intended to destroy and harm you. BUT I promise GOD has other plans!

Friend let Him wash it all away.
And than you too can feel and witness the freedom that comes with it!

And if your like me and believe with all your heart that it has been washed away and forgotten. But you still at time struggle. Take it to God, pour out your soul before Him. He’s there beside you.
Believe that He now calls you worthy, spotless, blameless, and righteous.
Because now.. you are free.

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* * * * * * * * *
Listen to this song:
Blameless By Dara Maclean And allow God to restore you.

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Say What?! (Quotes that might leave you speechless) *Pt.2*

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“Laying in his bed, pretending he’s your husband. Thinking a sex bond will keep you together. Congratulations you’re a pretend wife”.

“Don’t have sex with a woman you wouldn’t want your son to marry.”
(Live by example…and show your son a Real Man keeps it “put away”till his wedding night.)

“A woman who disdains womanhood trains men to be scum & makes it harder for the good girls to get a guy.”

“You Can’t FORCE a person to show you RESPECT, But you can REFUSE to be DISRESPECTED”.

“Always hold the door open for a lady. Not because she’s a lady, But because you’re a gentleman”.

“Don’t fall in love with someone who says the right things, fall in love with someone who does the right things”.

“Someone who is worthy of your love will never put you in a situation where you feel you must sacrifice your dignity, your integrity, or your self-worth to be with them”.

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“Be a woman of self-respect. Find a man who will swim through shark-infested waters to bring you a lemonade, not just a hump partner“!

“If you consider yourself a prize that a guy would be lucky(blessed) to have, you won’t choose or tolerate bad men.”

Men don’t value women they don’t have to work hard for”!

If you’re a side chick & you get with that man just remember that side chick position is now open again.

“When a guy wants to shack up, he is blatantly expressing his lack of desire to cherish & honor. He wants one foot out the door.”

If you wonder where all the gentlemen are, they left when all the ladies did.”

“Men don’t respect things they don’t have to earn.”

Don’t date a guy who can’t provide & protect. There’s no point because he won’t be a man.”

“Girls give sex to get love. Boys pretend love to get sex”.

“Ladies, You were created for one man. Don’t give out test drives. No ring? No keys.”

Find Someone Who wants to make you a wife….. And not a baby momma.

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Remember Ladies…. you were created for something more…. so much more.
And I promise you will not find it in anything else but IN the One who created you for a worthy cause.

Job 10:8-
Your hands have made me and fashioned me..

Let the One who actually made you and fashioned your very own body hold you today. No matter the choices, no matter the mistakes, no matter the scars..He hears your crys and sees your tears and He is the God of Second, third, fourth…. chances!

He can make you whole again.
He can make you clean again.
Why?
Because He wants to.

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord ,
“Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.
~Isaiah 1:18

Related Articles:
Quit letting him pimp you

Quotes that might leave you speechless. *Pt.1*

” Dating with no intention of marriage, is like clothes shopping……
“…

The Truth can hurt. (Quotes that might leave you speechless?)

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“Throughout the animal kingdom, males have to prove themselves to females. But that’s not always the case for humans.”.

“When you shack up, you don’t owe each other anything. That’s why guys like it..”

“When a man loves a woman, he gets down on one knee. He doesn’t ask her to shack up & be his unpaid whore.

“Men ask women to shack up b/c they don’t want to make a commitment, put them on a pedestal, and elevate them to wifehood..”

“If a guy doesn’t respect your values, he doesn’t want you – he wants nooky.”

“Men wouldn’t get away with half of the stuff they do if women didn’t let them.”

“The number one cause of anxiety & depression in kids is divorce.”

▶▶ Sex can be hurtful not only because of infectious diseases but also because it leaves us vulnerable and more likely to cling to people who don’t love us, mourn those who leave us, and not know how to escape those who need us but whom we don’t love.

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My personal “quotes” to you:
You are beautiful.
You are worth more than gold.
You are worth loving.
You are worth respecting.