Satan wants to destroy their innocence so he can destroy their future

I recently listened to two different stories on video. One of a former porn star and the other of a former homosexual male porn star.
Both were amazing miracles of what God can do in anyone’s life.

I believe God has a plan for everyone.

Our minds are created to believe that there IS something more.
More than just pleasuring ourselves.
More than just the physical.

Many may not want it but EVERYONE is searching for it. For what?
For true peace.
Real love.
True intimacy.

It hurts so much to see innocent children grow up and become something that they never would’ve chosen or even dreamed about when they were let’s say 4 or 5 years old.
That is why I believe that the devil goes after children so hard. He knows if he can destroy their innocence…it will be that much easier to destroy their future. God’s future for them.


The devil had horrendous plans for my life. Plans that I thought were what I wanted. Plans that I would’ve chosen because of what my childhood had taught me.
We are only molds of what are childhood shape us into.
But of course we all have that choice once we are adults to allow God to break that mold and rebuild a new one.
It's not easy by no means. But it is a journey worth beginning.

Every person has a story they carry.
I sincerely love to hear stories of molds that God broke through. Or what He saved them from. Whatever that may have been.
Homosexuality, pornography, abuse, depression, suicide attempts. Etc.

I know personally for myself my story would have been on that list for sure.

If you are on a path that you wholeheartedly believe your 4 or 5 year old self would NOT be proud of. Would not have chosen. Than just know that your story does not have to end where your at.
Yes Christ saved me from escorting, becoming a stripper, and being in porn. And because of that my story changed.

I now live a life that my young innocent self would have desired.
I am a mom. A wife. Just a normal girl with a simple life. But…
I know peace.
I know what real love is.
I know what true intimacy feels like.
And let me tell you it’s amazing.

If you have a story share it.
I’m only brave enough to share mine for the hope that it encourages and helps one.

All I know is that if I had never allowed God to rebuild and restore me. You probably would’ve met me in some strip club or in some porn video online.
Oh the power in God’s love.
That He is more than willing to rid us of all the ugliness and stains that cover us. To give us a destiny. To speak promises over us. To heal our hearts from all the despicable memories that do us much harm.
Oh a love like that I choose to give up all for.
I pray you would too.

It is what you were created for.


14 yrs ago I said bye forever! No turning back

14 years ago I said bye to boys breaking my heart.
14 yrs ago I turned my back to all the lies I had fell for.
14 yrs ago I kicked the devil in the face when God demolished the devils plans and brutal, violent, merciless path he had for me all along.
Because 14 yrs ago I stood up firmly and became a daughter of the King.

I had to write a little something about the most amazing, miraculous experience that has happened to me.

If you are an active reader to my blog you already know what God saved me from. ( If not please check out some of my other posts)!
So I won’t get into too much of that.
But I will say that no one and I mean NO ONE could ever cause me to deny what happened that night 14 years ago.

Today I was entranced with the fact that it was exactly 14 years ago that I was rescued from a soon to be wicked and vulgar lifestyle.

I actually attended church service tonight. The same church where I was invited that same week I cried out to God.
I felt extremely humbled. Here I was 14 years prior a foolish young teenager with grossly immoral plans for her life when God decides to intervene.

What makes this day much more powerful now then let’s say years before is because now I truly know where I would be and how I would be living(if even still alive) if not for that transforming holy night!

You see I was like your ordinary teen girl. Loving boy’s attention. And trying to get it anyway I could.
And the heartbreaking thing was.. I was actually on my way to doing everything to get that attention.

Let me say that there are NO words that could’ve described my heart today.
To know where I should be compared to where I am now blows me completely away.

Wholeheartedly I believe I would most probably be dead by now.
Like my other posts reveal. The shame and regret eating at my heart would’ve led me to take my very own life.

So this post was just a thank you and reflection of the 14 years of soundness and wholeness I have truly experienced.

14 years ago I experienced my heart being put together.
Little by little.
But miraculously nonetheless!

14 years ago I finally let go of a lifestyle that would’ve without question led me to a real hell.


You were not made to waste away in some cheap version of love the world throws at you

If I could say one thing to girls and women everywhere.

It would be that…..

His love is everlasting.

His love changed me.

His love transformed me.

His love converted this girl that was soon to become a stripper and later if given the chance an adult movie star. And believe me I don’t say any of that to boast because how could anyone in their right mind brag about something so disdainful as those lifestyles.

God’s love can transform anyone.

I’ve personally witnessed just to name a few…. drug addicts, alcoholics, and even “goody two shoes” touched by God’s love. If I know anything it’s that His love causes you to want more in life.

To want what your soul knows you were created for!

You were not made to waste away in some cheap version of love the world throws at you.

But I also know how it is to be in a place where that’s all you’ve ever known.

I thought love was giving yourself away. I mean if that was the only way I was going to FEEL love than of course I’ll be a stripper.

But what if a love so pure comes bursting in! A love so true that it literally leaves you wanting more. Except this time you don’t have to do anything cheap or vile for it.

It’s like that very Love shines through your very being and makes you whole.

I was so lost and didn’t even know it. But that’s how it usually is right? We can deny our sickness but if we have every symptom than the evidence is there. So even though I wouldn’t have admitted I was living for a cheap version of love. I definitely was. My symptoms were…I wanted to become a dancer. Also the way I dressed revealed not only my body but my hearts brokenness.

You see you can try to hide your heart but what’s inside will always come oozing out in one way or another.

God’s love proved to me that cheap thrills can NEVER satisfy your souls longing for true intimacy!

The whole human race has that desire for real love and intimacy inside them. That is why I believe so many run after the superficial tastes of it. They jump from bed to bed searching… They choose to become someone they hate. They willingly throw themselves at the alter of sin just to stop the deep cravings they feel.

So let me say it again.   His love is everlasting.

His love chases and pursues you. As long as you are still breathing there is hope and a chance for you to accept His everlasting love.

So this once bruised up and busted girl never got to experience that world of hell that I would’ve if I had not allowed God’s love to cover my heart and rescue me from the world’s filth.

I don’t know who I’m writing this for. But just know that His love is out there following you. Pursuing you day by day. Waiting for you to realize that He is all you really want. Nothing more. Nothing less.


~Romans 5:8






































Begging for love

Why do you beautify your way to SEEK love? -Jeremiah 2:33

It hurts me to see so so many girls beg for love.
So many of them seeking to be loved. And sadly, willing to do about almost anything to get it or feel it.

At only 15 yrs old I was willing to give myself away for “love”.
I willingly dressed in a way that I believed would gain me “love”.
I behaved in ways and did things that I can look back at now and know that it was all just an attempt to have and feel “love”.

The problem was… that I didn’t even know what love was.

I thought love was… a boy wanting me because that must’ve meant I was beautiful. Right?

So I desperately tried to do things that would make me ‘feel’ “beautiful”.
But that was before I knew what love meant. What love is. And what love IS NOT!


We run after things or run after people hoping that they will make us feel beautiful.
And sometimes it works.
But it’s always temporary.

Girls might put on extra make-up. (I know I did).
They dress to impress. (Showing as much skin as possible or by hiding under designer named clothes).
And sadly, Oh so many fall into the MULTIPLE SEX PARTNERS TRAP!

Giving up their virginity, their self-worth, or their dignity for a night of “love”.

But under all the attempts they are just simply begging for love.
Without even knowing it.


I begged for what I thought was love and when I believed I had received it I couldn’t let it go. Even though I should’ve. Even though others could clearly see that IT WASN’T LOVE.

It was like some twisted cruel joke that I continued to be a part of.
Except I wasn’t laughing but all the while the devil thought it hilarious.


I thought I had finally found “love” when I was 15.
But this so called love didn’t last. Even though the young ignorant girl that I was believed it would.

I had given up my virginity.
But little did I know I had also lost so much more.
I had burned away more of what little self-respect I had.

The boy I had given myself to never loved me. How could he? When he hadn’t known what real love was neither. But no matter how many times he disrespected me I went back to him.
Of course, I had to. He was the only form of “love” I knew and had.
And so as the hole in my heart grew. The door I had ignorantly opened was about to pour out a hellish pathway intended for me by the devil himself.

A path so unbearably tormenting that if I had known I would’ve probably went into a complete state of hysteria.

A road full of horror.
A road full of shameful acts.
A road full of unimaginable pain and hurt.
A road covered in lies, guilt, regret, and disdain.
A road I will never truly know because only months later.. (January of 2002 to be exact)
my begging for love came to an end!

But you have played the harlot with many lovers;
“Yet return to Me”, says the Lord. -Jeremiah 3:1

I learned I didn’t have to beg.
I learned I didn’t have to beautify my way to seek love.

The love I had always wanted was only found in the One who had created it and proved it the day He sent His One and only son to earth to die a bloody and horrific death.

John 15:13-
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

I John 4:19-
We love … because He first loved us.

And I have learned that there is NOTHING that I can do that can make Him love me any less.

Romans 8:39-
nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So why beg?
When you absolutely don’t have to.
The truth is this friend….
When Christ created you He created you with wonderful plans in mind. But the devil always has plans of his own as well.
Once we as women stand up and believe the truth that we don’t have to beautify our way to seek love.
We don’t have to beg for “love”. We will see more men rise up. Less girls allowing themselves to be used.
Because remember love that must be begged for is not truly love.

God gave up His only son willingly. For you. For me.

Think of it like this:
You were held captive alone and tormented. Afraid and abandoned.
No hope from being rescued from your horrible master.
But than a King from who knows where leaves all his majesty, all his comfort and riches to SEEK YOU!

Because that is REAL love!

Why do you beautify your way to SEEK love? -Jeremiah 2:33

Oh and to conclude that story …. That King finds you! And not only rescues you but also destroys ALL power of your once horrible master! Of him ever taking you captive again. Of him forcing you to do things unimaginable.

So of course you become mesmerized by this kings sacrificial love.


Well that is what Jesus has done for you. When He died that awful death on the cross.

He seeks you. But of course He is a gentleman and will not force Himself upon anyone.

He seeks and waits.
Ready to rescue you from your horrible tyrant of a master.
The devil.
Ready to destroy for good that road the devil has led you on. Or is about to lead you on.

Like my Bio states if the King had not or should I say if I hadn’t allowed him to rescue me that night in January of ’02.
Chances are that I would’ve went down that pathway the devil had for me. A road of unforgettable and tormenting memories.

When you realize you no longer have to beg for love. You no longer need to beautify your way to seek love. You will be free.

…but perfect love casts out all fear..
-1 John 4:18

And believe me when I say it’s a beautiful and humbling thing to finally be free!


With lots of love,

Jeremiah 2:24-
Those who desire her don’t need to search, for she goes running to them!

photo credit: girl/afraid via photopin cc
photo credit: Send me adrift. via photopin cc
photo credit:

“A No Sex Challenge story”

I call it a No Sex Challenge Story……
Yes, these kinda testimonies (stories) really do still exist!!

You can find the story here or read below:


……. my wedding is something that I’ve looked forward to for quite some time.
After having tied the knot at the end of August, I can now say beyond all shadow of a doubt, that it was everything I’d hoped and prayed that it would be since childhood. (I’d also prayed to be bitten by a radioactive spider and develop sticky hands, but… I was an idiot.)

Let me preface this column by saying this: my wife (I have to get used to saying that) and I not only waited sexually in every way (no, we didn’t pull the Bill Clinton and technically avoid “sex” sex,) but we didn’t shack up as live-ins and most importantly, we courted each other in a way that was consistent with our publicly professed values.We did it right. Our wedding was perfect. Our wedding night was nothing short of amazing.
I write this on a plane heading into a tropical paradise with the most beautiful woman to have walked the planet earth.

Feeling judged? I couldn’t care less. You know why? Because my wife and I were judged all throughout our relationship. People laughed, scoffed and poked fun at the young, celibate, naive Christian couple. We’d certainly never make it to the wedding without schtupping, and if we did, our “wedding night would be awkward and terrible,” they said. 

Turns out that people couldn’t have been more wrong.  
Looking back, I think that the women saying those things felt like the floozies they ultimately were, and the men, with their fickle manhood tied to their pathetic sexual conquests, felt threatened.

I think it’s important to write this column not to gloat (though I’ll be glad to), but to speak up for all of the young couples that have also done things the right way. When people do marriage right, they don’t complain so much, and so their voices are silenced by the rabble of promiscuous charlatans, peddling their pathetic world view as “progressive.”Our wedding was perfect. Our wedding night was nothing short of amazing. I write this on a plane heading into a tropical paradise with the most beautiful woman to have walked the planet earth. I know everybody says that their bride was the “most beautiful in the world.”  They’re wrong. I win.

I’d like to tell you a story of our morning after, however. One that transpired into one of the most glaring epiphanies I’d ever had.As my wife (again, still not used to that) and I ate breakfast at a local inn, we discussed how excited we were to start the rest of our lives together, how scary it was that everything was now so different. At the same time, we overheard the table next to us discussing their very own wedding from the night prior. What a coincidence!“The thing is, nothing’s really changed,” the bride said.Puzzled, my wife asked, “
Did you get married last night too? So did we!”“Congratulations!” the other dame said. “Yeah we did, just last night.”

“Where’s the groom?” my wife innocently… scratch that, naively asked.“Oh, he’s sleeping. There was no way he was coming out with me this morning!” She paused and smirked. “Let’s just say that he’s got a lingering headache from a really good time last night.”
My heart sank. Firstly, that poor schmuck’s “good time” was simply getting snookered. Not enjoying the company of close family and long-lost friends with a clear head and clean conscience, not staring in awe at his beautiful new wife, wanting to soak in every glimmer of her eyes as she shot him heart-racing looks from across the dance floor, not taking all of the cheesy pictures as they cut the cake, not even carrying her across that suite threshold as they nervously anticipated their “nightcap.” He probably won’t remember any of it. Instead, he got smashed.
He was “that guy”… at his own freaking wedding.

Then I realized something. Our wedding was truly a once in a lifetime event. It was a God’s-honest celebration of two completely separate lives now becoming one. Physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually, everything that made us who we were individually was becoming what bonded us together. Our family traveled from far and wide to celebrate the decision of two young people to truly commit themselves to each other, and selflessly give themselves to one another in a way that they never had before that very night.

The people next to us that morning? Well, theirs was just one big party.  And the morning after? Just another hangover.Our “weddings” were the same event in name only. They know it, and we know it.Do yours the right way.  If you’re young and wondering whether you should wait, whether you should just give in, become a live-in harlot/mimbo and do it the world’s way.  If you’re wondering whether all of the mocking, the ridicule, the incredible difficulty of saving yourself for your spouse is worth it, let me tell you without a doubt that it is.

Your wedding can be the most memorable day and night of your life… or just another party.

Oops. Did I just make a “judgment?”  You’re darn right I did.

Steven Crowder is a comedian and Fox News contributor. Follow him on Twitter@scrowder