I once believed that sex was somehow connected to aggression.
In a world that glamorizes pornography, pimps, and lust. It’s fairly easy to get sucked into the lie that sex is not special, not truly intimate, and NOT RESPECTABLE.
That sex is just something “everyone” does solely
and ultimately for self-pleasure.
That is exactly what this world would want you to believe.
And I did. I fell into that ocean of deceit.
I can’t tell you when I did. But I believe it had to have been someplace during my childhood.
My vision and idea of sex became distorted.
If only someone would have told me or better yet if I would’ve believed that true pure sex DOES NOT fall into the same category as violence and aggression!
True intimacy DOES NOT feed off of humiliation of a woman.
***That is one reason why pornography can NEVER and WILL NEVER substitute or even come near to comparing to what God created sex to be.
God intended sex to be PURE PHYSICAL TENDERNESS.
Say it again. Out-loud this time. Slowly.
PURE – PHYSICAL – TENDERNESS
Those three words alone caused me to view sex different than what I had believed sex was.
I went years not really knowing or understanding what sex was all about. Even after I married.
And maybe I still don’t understand it fully but one thing I know without a doubt is that: the belief of sexual intimacy that this world holds IS NOT TRUE! That the view of sex that so many people carry IS NOT REAL!
And you can bet that it has a lot to do with living in a strong pornified generation.
Where based on a survey that was done 64 percent of American men and 20 percent of women view pornography at least monthly. AND… you might want to sit down for this…. 18 percent of men believe they may be addicted to pornography. That’s more than 20 million men in deep trouble.
Porn alters the brain.
Porn dehumanizes women.
Porn promotes rape. It fuels the rape culture.
After swallowing all that…it’s No wonder why we have too many men walking around really “believing” that sex is just a loveless, cheap, repetitive act.
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage.
Do you really believe that is what we were created for? No.
We are created for more then this garbage that trys to suck anyone in.
It is not racist.
It is waiting to feed off of you.
If you let it.
My heart and mind had become it’s victim at a way too early age.
I fell into it’s snare. Unknowingly.
And even though I probably wouldn’t have admitted it…..my actions told a different story.
I grew up in a home where a true marriage was never modeled. Almost every relationship around me was a bad example of what it should’ve been.
I didn’t know a thing about
You see I gave myself away at 15.
But what I didn’t know at the time was that I had already given myself away long before that.
I had slowly given my heart and mind over to “beliefs” that I thought I knew to be TRUE.
I thought attention and desire alone was love.
But in reality they were traps that led me deeper and deeper into one of the biggest lies I would end up believing.
That sex was everything but love. Everything but pure. Everything but bonding.
Pretty much anything but what God had created it to be.
And those “beliefs” led me and were leading me to some very dark roads.
A road that I now know (12 years later) if given the chance would’ve been pornography. Crazy to think that something I extremely ABHOR now is something I could’ve been a part of.
Every porn worker(star), every stripper, every sex worker willingly or unwilling had a childhood dream once. And I promise you it wasn’t to grow up and become a prostitute or a sex slave.
One thing we all have in common is: We all were at one time in a sense innocent. We believed in love. In Hope. And if someone would’ve told us at that time that sex indeed equaled pure physical tenderness and NOTHING LESS. We would’ve wholeheartedly believed it.
What if I told you that sex was supposed to be a soul-bond forever with
the person you chose to spend the the rest of your life with.
A bond only you would share with that person all your life long. A commitment. A holy gift.
Not something that was meant to be forced. Not something cheap or loveless. Not something just done to excite or entertain others. Not something dirty and impure.
To me it is so very sad that it can take years for someone to actually realize that. When it’s always been the truth.
When you understand Who created intimacy in the first place…you’ll begin to understand what it is. And what it’s NOT.
I believe that is the place where men and women in a sense can gain back that innocence.
It’s hard. But bad habits can be broken. Brain maps can be changed.
We are created for intimacy.
Just not the kind this world, the media, or porn tells you.
I am now no longer ‘bound’ to those “beliefs” I once thought to be true. Because now I know the truth. And the Truth has set me free!
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
It hurts my heart to know that I was stuck in that pit of lies for so long. Even after I was saved and married. Coming to a point where I couldn’t even enjoy intimacy with my then husband because of the lies deeply embedded inside my mind. But God so graciously shined light and exposed it so He could purge it and wash it away.
I am a work in progress.
…From glory to glory friends.
There is always Hope. No matter how messed up our minds have become.
We live in a fallen world.
But the garbage this world would have you eat could NEVER exceed
the reason you were created.
For true, pure, wonderful intimacy first and foremost with your Creator. A love so clean and relishing. That you could never again allow a man to treat you the way you once believed they were supposed to.
True Freedom is peace my friend.
photo credit: NeoGaboX via photopin cc
photo credit: loop_oh via photopin cc
photo credit: Geoff LMV via photopin cc
photo credit: melizards via photopin cc