Suicide almost killed me

I still remember the nights.
The times I would think about suicide.

I wanted to end it all.
I was only 15.

I had already lost my virginity when I started having these thoughts.

A girls virginity does a lot to her worth weather she knows it or not.

I remember being at a place where I would’ve done anything for validation and admiration.
It’s an ugly place to be
.

I believe we constantly try so many dead ends to fulfill our broken hearts.
We want to be wanted. And when we realize that we are not wanted always.
We throw ourselves out there.
We post disrespectful pictures of ourselves online.
Girls dress in ways that scream out, “PLEASE WANT ME”!
Some very lonely ones become strippers/escorts/Web cam girls all for the desire to be validated and admired.
Because for some strange reason women have fallen for the big lie that attention equals all of the above.
But sadly when they reach the peak. They learn the sad truth. It was all a mirage.

I was just a teen girl when the suicidal thoughts began. But even so young I felt lied to. Attention wasn’t enough! I tried the boyfriends. I tried sex. I was still depressed. Still heartbroken. Still so alone.
What was the remedy? Was there even one?

I still don’t know why I never actually succumbed to suicide. I know one thing for sure though. 15 years later I am so very thankful I didn’t..

Now that my heart has been restored and fulfilled with a true satisfying love I hurt for all those still searching.
That is why escorts, prostitutes, and porn girls exist because theirs too many humans walking around with their souls screaming out for pure love.

We were created for relationship so it’s no wander that we hunger for relationships. No wander so many go to extreme measures all for the sake of relationships . To be wanted. To be liked. To be “loved”. To be sought after.

And so it’s no surprise that it was in a relationship that I found everything my soul and heart had been screaming out for. A true relationship with God. I say true because I’m not talking religion.
My heart had finally found the One who had created it. And it was there that I let out a huge sigh of relief.
Pure love existed!? Yes. Yes. Yes. A thousand times. YES!
And I promise you it is more beautiful and whole than you can ever imagine.
I pray friend you experience it for yourself; if you haven’t already.

For this Love was powerful enough to crush my fears. Even powerful enough to overcome the suicidal thoughts once and for all.
And that dear friend is… worth it all.

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They show you their ‘goods’ just for a moment of feeling wanted..

I saw a photo yesterday that made me think. Deeply.

It was a picture of a beautiful woman.
Except she was almost naked and she was one of those Webcam girls.
You know the ones that show you all their “goods” just for a moment of feeling wanted.

That is what hit me.
I didn’t look at that girl with disdain or frustration. It was like God showed me what was really going on.
And it was this:

Every human has a desire to be wanted. That’s just the way God made us. After His own image.
Because even God desires you to want Him.

So we as humans do things that make us feel wanted. Why do u think girls become strippers & men become addicted to porn?
It makes them feel wanted.

I actually explained all this to my husband right after and he sat there and listened to me. He stared at me when I was done with an almost reverent look. I knew he knew it to be true.

I explained to him that is why a girl will become a stripper. Because while she is up there dancing she can; even if it’s for 10 mins, believe she is wanted. Her heart whispers “I am wanted”.

And the men watching porn. They can believe that they are also wanted by so many different “big busted sexy babes”.
It doesn’t matter at that momemt who rejected them in the past because at that moment they are wanted. Or so they convince themselves. And as they “believe” that, his heart whispers, “I am wanted”.

So why would a man give up porn if it causes them to feel that way? To feel accepted and wanted. Even if it’s just for 10 mins or an hour.

Let me tell you the desire to be wanted is not bad or wrong in itself. Because God Himself desires us to want Him.
I believe all the little things that God chooses to do for us is all an attempt for us to want Him. That is our hearts cry.
That is why I believe we as humans search out all kinds of things to feel wanted. We search for love in all the wrong places. We search for acceptance in so many vain persuits.

We wander why we feel more alone after and don’t realize that the One who created us is waiting to feel wanted from us also.

God put that emotion inside us to draw us to Him. But instead so many times we let it push us further from Him.

The thing is when your heart hurts after so much rejection…your willing to sacrifice anything to replace that hurt w/ some kind of peace. Even if it is a temporary peace.

As a teen girl I longed to be as far away from rejection as possible. I was sick of rejection from so many.
From not ever being pretty enough for any boy to not being noticed from my very own dad. My heart was in shreds. There seemed to be no cure for this ache I deeply had. Or so I thought. And those four words right there changed my life. I was running after so many empty dead-ends. I know now my desire to become a dancer was just a hopeless attempt to fill that hole I had to be wanted. And I know now that being in porn was just going to leave me more alone than I ever could’ve imagined.

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All I really needed was something to satisfy the lonely ache I had inside me. Something I believe we all want.
Let me tell you I am proof that there is something out there that most definitely does satisfy that urge we all hold.

Believe me when I say that I know that to be true because if not I would not be writing this. I would be in a strip club somewhere. Or staring in pornography. Or even…. dead.

I came home one night and fell on my knees in my bedroom. Yes, I was tired of searching. Tired of aching. So tired of the hellish crys of just wanting to be wanted.

I guess you can say that night I finally wanted God. I desperately wholeheartedly wanted God. And I felt Him that night more real than I had ever.
It wasn’t until I truly wanted God. That I realized how much He had wanted me all along. How much He had called out to me many times before.

I never understood up to then how much God had wanted me. He had been on a search of His own. For me. I had been trying to find something or someone to fill that empty hole in my heart when God had been coming after me all along.
Because you see friend you are the only thing that truly satisfies God.

He wants us to want Him.

It’s as simple as that.

I pray you understand that your search to just be wanted can be over. Mine did. Once I realized who wanted me above all else. And once you come to know that, it will not matter who doesn’t want you. Because you will have found the missing piece. The cure for your ache. You will finally know that you had always been wanted.
That’s the beauty of it all…that we are wanted not because of what we have to offer. But because of who we are.
No fronts. No masks. No lies.

So next time you notice one of those Webcam girls on your twitter. Or hear a story of how a friend of a friend is addicted to pornography.
Remember the’re searching. They are all just searching. And the saddest thing of it all is if only they knew that the One thing their searching for is really searching for them.
Waiting just waiting to be wanted by them.

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photo credit: Why did you leave me…..?? via photopin (license)

Satan wants to destroy their innocence so he can destroy their future

I recently listened to two different stories on video. One of a former porn star and the other of a former homosexual male porn star.
Both were amazing miracles of what God can do in anyone’s life.

I believe God has a plan for everyone.

Our minds are created to believe that there IS something more.
More than just pleasuring ourselves.
More than just the physical.

Many may not want it but EVERYONE is searching for it. For what?
For true peace.
Real love.
True intimacy.

It hurts so much to see innocent children grow up and become something that they never would’ve chosen or even dreamed about when they were let’s say 4 or 5 years old.
That is why I believe that the devil goes after children so hard. He knows if he can destroy their innocence…it will be that much easier to destroy their future. God’s future for them.

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The devil had horrendous plans for my life. Plans that I thought were what I wanted. Plans that I would’ve chosen because of what my childhood had taught me.
We are only molds of what are childhood shape us into.
But of course we all have that choice once we are adults to allow God to break that mold and rebuild a new one.
It's not easy by no means. But it is a journey worth beginning.

Every person has a story they carry.
I sincerely love to hear stories of molds that God broke through. Or what He saved them from. Whatever that may have been.
Homosexuality, pornography, abuse, depression, suicide attempts. Etc.

I know personally for myself my story would have been on that list for sure.

If you are on a path that you wholeheartedly believe your 4 or 5 year old self would NOT be proud of. Would not have chosen. Than just know that your story does not have to end where your at.
Yes Christ saved me from escorting, becoming a stripper, and being in porn. And because of that my story changed.

I now live a life that my young innocent self would have desired.
I am a mom. A wife. Just a normal girl with a simple life. But…
I know peace.
I know what real love is.
I know what true intimacy feels like.
And let me tell you it’s amazing.

If you have a story share it.
I’m only brave enough to share mine for the hope that it encourages and helps one.

All I know is that if I had never allowed God to rebuild and restore me. You probably would’ve met me in some strip club or in some porn video online.
Oh the power in God’s love.
That He is more than willing to rid us of all the ugliness and stains that cover us. To give us a destiny. To speak promises over us. To heal our hearts from all the despicable memories that do us much harm.
Oh a love like that I choose to give up all for.
I pray you would too.

It is what you were created for.

The day I was almost raped..changed my life

The day I cried out.

Today I want to write about the day God began His incredible journey of healing me.

People may look at me now and never even think or believe where I would be if God might’ve never rescued me from a dead lifestyle.
. . . . . .

But when I was only 16 my heart had already felt much pain.
Much hearbreak.
Much rejection.
Nights I would think of suicide.
I thought I knew what I wanted.
I DIDN’T.

How is it that Someone can actually heal and restore your broken up soul!

I have experienced it. I know.

And it all started with a cry.

The year was 2002.
The month.. January.
I did the dangerous.
I took off with a boy I didn’t really know at all.
But hey, I was a teen girl with a bruised and torn heart remember.
We tend to do some pretty stupid things when our heart is broken or wounded.

We drove around a bit. Then… As it got dark and started to snow. He didn’t take me home. He drove his car to an alley right next to a field. And turned off the engine.

Yes. He wanted to have sex.
But no. Of course, I didn’t want to.
He tried to convince me and no not with words.

But with the little of integrity I had left inside of me I looked out the passenger window and (either in my mind or in a whisper) I pleaded:
“God, get me out of this”.

He did. He really really did.

I wiped my tear away slowly because I didn’t want the boy to see me crying as I turned to look at him. He stared at me said,
“Do you want me to take you home”?

Just like that.

I said yes. (Of course)
He started the car and drove me straight home.
I never ever seen him again.

I walked inside my home and into my room. Closed the door.
And cried.
I cried like a baby.
On my knees. I cried out.

Here I was a 16 year old girl that could’ve been raped.
I know God saved me that night.
I know He heard my plea.

And as I cried out in my room that night. God was already beginning the process of healing me.

I gave my heart to Him that night.
That broken, bruised, torn, abused heart. And in return He began to restore me. He began to change my heart and cleanse my mind.
It’s unbelievable really. It truly was a miracle.

Yes, there are things I wish I had never experienced as a young girl. Things and situations that have left scars. But if I had never experienced them I wouldn’t know now how it feels to be healed and restored.
And believe me I do. I do.

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I probably would’ve put a gun to my head

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This morning I prayed. And as I sat there on my living room floor I pondered. ….

If you have read some of my other postings you know that God saved me as a young teen girl. I may have been just a young teenager but this young girl already had many plans for her life. Destructive plans. Plans that I now look back and shudder at the thought of what would have become of me if my plans would’ve come to pass. And a question I have thought to myself and asked many times is: Why did God save me before I was totally immersed in the lifestyle I had thought I wanted.So as I sat there musing and talking openly to God. It hit me. Well, it was just a thought but it was almost as if I could feel the truth in it.

I don’t think I would’ve made it out alive.

I sincerely believe I PROBABLY WOULD’VE PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD and pulled the trigger.

I told God all this with tears.

I said God you saved me before perhaps because YOU knew I wouldn’t have made it out alive.

He had so much mercy on me that He called out to me that night as a lonely teenager.

But even though He called. It doesn’t mean I had to have listened.

I could have walked away from Him.

I could have ignored Him.

I could have yelled out to Him in anger instead. Cursing Him for allowing me to go through all that I had gone through up to that point.

But I didn’t.

Oh Thank God I didn’t!

And believe me when I say I don’t think I would’ve put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger simply because “I’m weak”. Or because I just “couldn’t have handled it”. No. I mean yes. Maybe I would’ve been weak. Maybe I would have got to that point where I just couldn’t have handled it anymore. But I believe the real reason I would have pulled that trigger is because of all the SHAME, all the REGRET, and hopelessness I KNOW I would have experienced and felt!

I know I probably would have looked back at my life and wondered where in the world did I go wrong? I know I would have remembered all the times as a little girl that I would run to the back of the shed in my backyard to read my Bible. I know I would have remembered the times I went to church as a young girl and KNEW deep inside that was what life was all about. Worshiping my Creator. I would’ve looked back and remember listening to my mom say her prayers. And as I pulled the trigger I would’ve believed with all my heart that I deserved every ounce of shame.

I would’ve died an empty soul.

Callous, hard, and numb.

But deep inside just truly sad, desperate for real love, and fighting demons that had been assigned to me since childhood.

So I sat there thankful, and in awe of God’s mercy and grace. I cried tears of joy and appreciation that I would never know that day. The day I probably would’ve pulled the trigger.

Thank You Father for saving me. For rescuing me. You seen what could’ve been and you chose to reach out to me that night. You made yourself so real.

I pray You also make Yourself real to all those that are crying out to You today.

Amen.

If God is calling out to you today…please don’t ignore Him. Please don’t push Him away.

You never know what he may be trying to save you from.

Lots Of Love,

SongsOfIntimacy

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photo credit: Hand Model via photopin (license)

Sick and Tired of Rejection they become Strippers

What drives a girl to become a stripper.
To become so lost and deprived of any true love but still willing to endure the hell involved.

What really makes a woman want to degrade herself by sharing(selling) her body with(to) the world.
To go to bed at night with tears rolling down her cheeks knowing it’s not worth it. But waking up in the morning continuing the vicious cycle.

REJECTION.

I look back now and see my little heart as a small girl. Rejection was written all over it.

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Not only was I rejected by the first man in my life. My dad. I was then later rejected by boys.
I was stinkin’ tired of rejection!
Tired of offering my heart over and over again. And in return receiving pain, lies, and simply being ignored.

Somewhere in my sick mind I knew I could lose rejection once and for all! Finally.
I knew I wanted to pack my bags and be done with my enemy ..rejection.
My bags contained all I needed to endure this new life I thought I wanted.
My “luggage” would be packed with…
Anger
Bitterness and Hatred
Lust
Rebellion
Greed

And only God knows what else.

My anger, bitterness, and hatred towards my father and men in general would be my fuel that would drive me indeed.

Well, it would’ve driven me but my little journey never began.
Because you see at the age of 16. That lonely girl found herself alone in a room, crying out. Yes. She had already packed her bags nice and full. But at the end all the pain. All the hurt. All the lies and anger would not be enough to hold her back from running to The Saviour!

Could there really be a Man that wouldn’t reject her?? She didn’t know but she had to take the chance.
She unpacked her heavy bags. And she cried. Because for once in her life she could finally just be herself and no longer fear rejection. It was as if He wiped away her tears and cradled her broken heart.

She waved bye to those demons and the devil himself that had been waiting outside the door for her. The path that had been paved just for her vanished. And a new one appeared almost instantly.

How can it be that the Creator of the universe cares for me.

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken
I’m accepted. You were condemned
.
I’m alive and well- Your spirt is within me- because You died and You rose again.

You see I realize now that Jesus was rejected FOR US. For me.
I had been rejected countless times. But when I ran into His open arms that night He recieved me.

All that past rejection would’ve definitely caused me to become someone I really wouldn’t have wanted to be. To do things I wouldn’t have really wanted to do.
13 years later scary to think where I would be.

Girls,
It’s time.
Time to UNpack your bags. Let it go. And run into the arms of your Saviour.
I promise He will welcome you.
Of course He will. Remember He was rejected so you wouldn’t have to be.

Lots of Love,
SongsofIntimacy

From rejection to finally being accepted.

Porn Porn Everywhere

It’s everywhere!
But that’s only part of the problem

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The biggest issue is that it is going into our minds. Seeping in. Making it’s home in our very own hearts!

This is scary people.
Very VERY FRIGHTENING!!

It is what a lot of young boys are growing up on.
Kids hearts and minds are innocent, tender, trusting and need to be safeguarded from the negative influences of increasingly violent and sexualized media!

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Pornography teaches sex without love, intimacy, tender touch, responsibility, and commitment.”!!
http://t.co/bpXEWtjKw2

Pornography is more then a small sexual “secret”. Believe me I’ve read enough, I’ve seen enough and I have felt enough to KNOW it is an extremely wicked problem!

It may have started as a “fun” guilty pleasure but it has now (thanks to the internet) grown into a massive and festering addiction.

Pornography should be banned as SUPER-ADDICTIVE and DANGEROUS drug/behaviour much like Heroin, Crack, Crystal Meth!:
http://t.co/LAgMCysbgL

The research is there.
The findings are true.
Porn is as addictive as drugs!
Addicts crave it. Not because they necessarily like it.
Chances are they don’t even want to give in and watch it. But the cravings are there and they only continue to get BIGGER every time the addict gives in and bites!

It really is a very sad epidemic.
If you dont consider yourself a porn/sex addict then you might deny these facts.
You might only consider yourself “a moderate user”. But as any drug addict will testify. The cravings will grow undoubtedly.

And with porn there is NO EXCEPTION!
Just ask the man that can tell you that it all began when he just started with “normal” porn videos and/or images. But eventually his body needed more. His “fun” ended with an arrest of child pornography.
But you say that won’t happen to you. How can you be sure?
Are you willing to take that risk?

Is porn really that good that you would sacrifice everything for it?
Not only do you lose your purity and if you’re a man your manhood. But if that’s not enough your family, your wife, your children, and your respect is also all on the line!
So tell me is it truly worth it?

I’m sure the husband that has already lost it ALL would tell you it’s not!
I’m sure the wife that has felt the agony and excruciating heartbreak because of it would tell you it’s not!
And I’m sure the children that have been neglected and pushed to the side all because of their dad’s porn/sexual addiction/problem would cry out it’s not!

I pretty sure we all have heard the stories how an addiction started with a few beers. A couple cigarettes. A line of coke. No addict intended to become a full blown out addict.

No human being with a heart intends to neglect, abuse, push away, scar, or destroy the very ones they love and who love them.

Pornography leads to affairs. (Because it is an affair)!
Pornography can lead to rape. Pornography leads people into hellish fetishes that they would have never ever thought about in the first place without porn.

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Pornography IS NOT NORMAL.
How can humans being degraded, abused and used be normal??

You watch that porn video and it starts off feeling good but believe me; not too far away there is a man or woman who is alone in his/her room pounding the floor, asking God to take away this vicious addiction! And he/she would tell you don’t do it! Don’t even begin with that one video! Don’t even think about it.

I as a parent would honestly advise my children to not even begin messing around with any drug.
So the same goes with porn.
It is a drug!
And I pray that one day it will be illegal and completely banned.
The repercussions are huge!

I am very positive that many reading could easily admit to falling into the trap of pornography.
I am very positive that many reading could admit that pronography did indeed lead them to do other things they truly did not even want to do.

Sex was NEVER meant to be dirty.
Sex is more then an act.
It’s something so deep.
Something so personal and private but not because it’s shameful. But because it’s meant to be between two people who sacrificially love each other with no doubt, no reserve.
And when you love somebody so sacrificially, & so immensely you do not want to share that personal and private bond with nobody!! No, not a picture, not a video, no peeking! That bond, that personal time… NO ONE should be able to sneak upon, to peek upon, or to watch it!

Sex is an intertwining of a husband and wife’s soul. They are one. And God, yes God looks upon that as good.

Your soul is costly woman.
You can not just give it away to any man. I mean you could but why? When your soul has so much more meaning and purpose! Your soul longs to be one with another soul. But you can in no way give yourself(your soul) away repeatedly to guy after guy with NO consequences.
You hurt yourself painfully more then you know when you do. It’s almost like you burn away at your own heart. Your heart over time becomes hardened and numb.

That is what I believe happens to all those precious girls in those porn videos. At the end they lose out.
Oh what many of them would give just to gain back their innocence.

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And they have the porn/sex addict to thank for a lot of their pain.
For demand fuels the porn industry.
Kill the demand. Kill the porn industry.
Not that easy. I know. But it’s a start.

There may be a lot we can’t do.
But I know there is way more we CAN do! Even if it’s a small change.

So come on! Lets fight this demon!
I believe in you.

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On Twitter: @songsofintimacy
And help share awareness with this hashtag #LetsFightThisDemon

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photo credit: H o l l y. via photopin cc

Memories that could kill..

Do you have memories that still haunt you?
Or maybe not haunt but ones that try to pop their head up from time to time.

And every time they do….they always bring shame regret, and guilt along with them.
And you find yourself wallowing in the same pain, the same hurt, the same lies of the past.

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The weight is so heavy at times that it seems as if there is a huge brick on the back of your head.
And this brick causes you to walk with your head down as the memories re-play in your mind.

You wish you could go back.
Maybe re-do a few things. OR erase a lot of things.

But what’s done has been done.

We all have our own bundle of unhappy and at times tormenting memories that hide deep within us.

The ones that don’t leave us alone. The ones that take us back to that very moment or day.
The ones that make us question “what was I thinking”?!

Personally for me its been almost 13 years but I can still remember the nights….
The nights I thought of suicide.
And Ending it all.
Thinking no, Believing that it would end all my pain, hurt, and heartbreak.

I remember the night I knew that I knew I could’ve been raped.

I remember the night I looked out the window and prayed “GOD, GET ME OUT OF THIS”!

I remember the nights I chose to give myself away so cheaply. Mistaking it for love and acceptance.

Times that I chose to get involved or taste things I should’ve never!

Memories that have been burned into us so deeply. That sometimes
we begin to believe all the lies again.

That it doesn’t matter how far you’ve come. That it doesn’t matter that you’ve changed.
Or worse: that your still the same person. You’ve never changed and you never will.
Your worthless!
Your dirty!
You’ll never amount to anything!
It would’ve been better if you had never been born!

And as you sink into that ocean of lies you hear depression knocking. You feel suicide wanting to invite itself over once more.

But in the midst of it all.
He whispers. You hear it but the lies try so hard to drown it out!
He calls you by name.

Isaiah 43:1
But now, thus says the Lord , who created you, .. And He who formed you, .. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
Especially when you realize your the one needing it.

Many times people say “Well, I can forgive but will never forget”.
But there is One who actually forgives AND forgets!

Psalm 103:12
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Micah 9:17
You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

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There is nothing more amazing than knowing that all our wrongs, all our past can be washed away.

So what if you woke up one day and believed with all that is in you that you had been forgiven. That all the memories that would love to haunt you forever were just exactly that. Memories.
Long gone forgiven memories!
Now I know that some memories are far from forgetting when you actually have to live with the ‘consequences’ or viable evidence every single day.
But it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been forgiven.

I recently read a MIND-BLOWING testimony!!!
Of Annie Lobert a survivor of more than a decade of sex trafficking-working as an exotic dancer and a high-class escort.

In her testimony she talks about the memories. That would haunt her. She even began having terrible nightmares.

The past can be an ugly thing. Especially when it knows we haven’t let it go. It would want nothing more than to cling to us, to the core of our hearts till death.

So bring your past…..lay it down. And watch as He throws it all into the sea of forgetfulness.

Yes, my memories are still there….deep deep down below somewhere.
BUT now I use them you could say as a weapon!
Because I use a lot of them now to share with others how amazing the power of forgiveness really is. Like the times when I meet those young 14/15/16 year old girls that are walking on that road I once did.

I have the privilege to share some of those memories with them.. all in the name of just letting them know they are NOT alone and never will be. That NO matter their past.. it can be washed away!
And the best part.. that they too can one day use it to encourage others that your past does not have to represent who you are now.
THAT WHAT WAS MEANT FOR EVIL GOD USES FOR GOOD!

That your bruised past, and all of those haunting memories unfortunately may not ever be erased from our memories but they can be *forgiven*. Oh so beautifully forgiven.
And Yes, even used for good.

Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

**You see sharing our experiences (our memories) with others CAN indeed save their lives!

Those memories are intended to destroy and harm you. BUT I promise GOD has other plans!

Friend let Him wash it all away.
And than you too can feel and witness the freedom that comes with it!

And if your like me and believe with all your heart that it has been washed away and forgotten. But you still at time struggle. Take it to God, pour out your soul before Him. He’s there beside you.
Believe that He now calls you worthy, spotless, blameless, and righteous.
Because now.. you are free.

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Listen to this song:
Blameless By Dara Maclean And allow God to restore you.

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photo credit: Silvia Sala via photopin cc
photo credit: -Reji via photopin cc
photo credit: hippydream [is busy] via photopin cc

Sexual Freedom-Multiple sex partners

Is sexual freedom really free?

Women are free to have sex with anyone they want.
Anytime they want.
Wherever they want.
“SEXUAL FREEDOM”.

But is it really “free” when it takes so much from you? When it robs you of so much. Whether you willingly give it or not. It WILL take from you.

Just stop and look around and you’ll notice countless of girls and women walking about…..that have had their dignity taken from them.
Their self-respect gone.
Their self-worth gone.
Their innocence, their purity, their softness even…GONE. ERASED. TAKEN. STOLEN. Most of the time given away freely by choice.
All in the name of “SEXUAL FREEDOM”.

I chose to give mine away at the age of 15.

My self-worth came from how much attention I could gather from the opposite sex.
It should’ve came directly from my father. Because that’s where I believe every girls self worth stems from. Begins from.
And well sadly I wasn’t given much attention from there.
But the longing was still there.
Inside me.
Just waiting to be fulfilled.
And since it didn’t come to me.
I went out searching for it on my own.
So…. when I was faced with the opportunity to finally gain some much needed attention…. Yup, you guessed it. I GAVE IN.
How many 15 yr old girls like me would’ve? How many DO.
Day after day after day.
And while I gained the attention I so desperately wanted my heart was in return losing so much.
My innocence gone.
My purity washed away.
My self-respect in the trash.
And little did I know at the time my self-worth was actually being torn to shreds.

I read this article and others about how having multiple sex partners actually makes young girls sad, depressed, and even suicidal.

And memories return of how I was unknowingly giving away the very essences that would’ve kept me content and safely on the road to happiness.
But instead I gave it up for short term “”love””, “fun”, and attention. And what was I left with?
Sadness.
Heartbreak. Which led to more sadness.
Depression. Which led to suicidal thoughts and feelings.
Yeah, all this at the tender age of only 16.

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So what a lot of these young girls (and women) that are indulging themselves in “sexual freedom” don’t realize is that in reality IT ISN’T FREE!
IT DOES INDEED TAKE FROM YOU!
The Cost Is Terrible!

I’ve personally witnessed hearts torn, shattered, and bruised after they chose again and again and again to give their dignity away, their self-worth and self-respect away.
THIS IS REAL!!
And It’s happening around us every day!
Just stop awhile and look around. There she is. The girl that gives away her body night after night, party after party. Not because she’s a slut. But maybe because as she gives it up to some dude that is basking in the lust of it. She is in her own little world hoping that it will just quiet her hearts cry for love, attention, and self-worth.
But of course it WON’T!
IT NEVER DOES.
But sadly, she’ll continue trying. Again and again and again.
Same game. Only different faces.

And that my friend is the Multiple Sex Partner TRAP!

It’s so easy to fall into.
And once your in- it’ll strip you!
It’ll strip you of everything your heart truly is. The heart that God created and formed even before you were born.
It slowly chews away at it.
Leaving you feeling used.
Shamed. Disrespected.
Hardened. Calloused.
Bitter.
It’s an unbearable cycle almost like being on a merry-go-round that never stops spinning.

But there is a way out.
There is an escape route.

Jesus Christ made you to want love. To crave something more than what this world can offer and nothing in it can give you. So you would go after Him. So you would pursue Him for it. He has ALL you need. And He freely gives it! Now that is free. Because He already paid for it. He already paid for you.

HE ALREADY KNOWS YOUR WORTH!

You can finally stop searching! He’s right there. Just look up.
He hears your hearts cry.
He sees your souls longings.
And He says, Everything your searching for is in Me.

** Matthew 11:28-29 **
Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. … Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Are you or someone you know tired of being hurt by this evil trap?
Tired of it using you, abusing you, and making you cry?
Some cry themselves to sleep.
Some run back to it over and over again.
And there’s probably girls and women that actually kill themselves when they realize that this trap never did and never will satisfy or fill the deep hole they have in their heart.

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But believe me. There is a way out. I know because He rescued me.
He took my ashes. (The mess I made.) And in return He gave me back my dignity, my self-worth!
I learned self-respect again.
I learned what purity truly meant.
And I finally can say I know what love is. And I promise you won’t find it anywhere else.

So if your young or old and hungry for attention. Run to the One who freely gives it. And don’t join the Multiple Sex Partners Trap.

***

photo credit: Chapendra via photopin cc

photo credit: °]° via photopin cc

Seducing you away… is “she”?

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And I found that [of all sinful follies none

has been so ruinous in seducing one away

from God as idolatrous women] more bitter

than death is the woman whose heart is

snares and nets and whose hands are bands.

Whoever pleases God shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be taken by her. http://bible.com/8/ECC7.26.AMP

whose heart is SNARES and NETS and whose hands are BANDS.

She seems beautiful. ?
She seems perfect. ?
She seems breathtaking. ?
She seems like maybe the only thing that can satisfy you at the moment. ?

But she’ll take your integrity,
your loyalty,
faithfulness,
purity,
vitality, And
STRENGTH.
You might not even know it or feel it at first….. and by the time you do….it’s too late.
Her snares, nets, and bands are all wrapped around you.
Around your heart.
Around your mind.
Around your emotions.

You yell out for freedom.
Because you know now that it was all a lie. A mirage. Fake. Devilish.

How could something that might’ve looked so good at times actually be the very thing that DESTROYS your own soul…?
The very trap that has caused many strong men to fall into.

But he does not know that the dead are there, That her guests are in the depths of hell.
~Proverbs 9:18

Porn. ..Pornography is a little word that creates HUGE damage. Not only for the person viewing and being “entertained” by it. BUT also for those in that industry.
I have witnessed the pain and hurt and destruction that it causes. And let me just say it takes a lot of forgiveness and God’s love to heal.

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But I am not only talking about pornography.
●Adultery. You truly want to remain faithful. But “Ms. Loo-Loo busty” or “Mr. Hotty” just seem to keep eyeing you and well.. once won’t really hurt, right? .. . .
●Having sex before marriage when you know and believe that it is wrong. When you are trying to save yourself but temptation calls and you are feeling weak. …. . .

Proverbs 7:26-27
For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, Descending to the chambers of death.

Maybe you say…
“Too late. I am already too deep in now to get out.”
Maybe her snares, nets and bands have already begun to spin themselves around you.
Yes, it may have a strong grip on you
BUT nothing is STRONGER than God’s power…if you want it.

If you are married Or are in a faithful relationship. ..please don’t give in to that seductive ‘chick’ or ..’hunk’.
It’s not worth it.

For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.
But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
~Proverbs 5:3-4

Just a few more verses that warn us:

….sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life.
`Proverbs 6:26

But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.
~Proverbs 6:32

..she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery.
~Proverbs 7:21

*******
Marriage can get hard at times.
But Staying loyal and faithful to your spouse is not only a vow you made on your wedding day but it is also a beautiful gift that your spouse or spouse-to-be will always be thankful for and cherish!
Plus staying true to one woman most definitely makes you a REAL man!
And the world sure does NEED more of them!!! 😀

So stay true, stay faithful, stay pure.

~And if your married…love & respect your spouse …and what the heck have some fun doing it. 😉
Need some help?…. Click here.

photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/schmish/3474317057
Twitter: @GodOverPorn