Dear you, 15 year old younger me…

DO you know you are not only beautiful but captivating.

Do you know that God really and truly has plans for you. For your life.

Do you know that God seen and knew you even while you were inside your mothers womb.

Do you know He was there that amazing moment you entered into this world.

Those times you felt alone, sad, depressed … Yes… He was there also.

I know it felt like no one cared. But I promise He did. He does.

Those times you felt so REJECTED. His love poured out for you.Your heart beat to know Him.

When others rejected you. When others thought they were too good for you. When others believed you were worthless. He watched you with eyes of fire. A fire of love.

When you really thought that boy loved you. So you ended up giving yourself to him. Mind and Body. He watched with sorrow and sadness. Because He knew the truth. He always does.

But His love remained.

He caught every tear that fell from your eyes when you finally realized that it was never love. Only lust.

I’m sure He whispered that He loved you and that He was madly in love with you when you laid at night on your bed, heartbroken.

He saved you from so much pain even though it may not have felt like it.

And He came running that night. The night you cried out on your knees. It was what He had been waiting for all along. For your heart. For your devotion. For your love.

He picked you up. Washed all your stains and pain away. Healed your heart. Wrapped His arms around you. And whispered again how much He had always loved you.

And then your life began………

Love, your twenty-something self.

A letter to a fatherless child

First of all Happy late Father’s Day to all you daddies out there!
I hope you all enjoyed your days!

But for those out there that had no one to wish Happy Father’s Day to. Or more sadly, maybe you did but he’s one of those “there but NOT there” kinda dad’s….
This is for you:

image

Dear child,
It’s Okay to weep. It’s Okay to cry. It’s Okay to be angry at times. It’s Okay to stop and wonder what it would’ve been like if you had grown up with a very present father.
I wonder. And than I hear and read stories like these. And my heart does sadden a bit. Because what if my dad had been there for me. What if your father had really and truly been there for you.?
Would we have grown up differently?
Maybe.
Oh Yes, it would have been such a wonderful thing to have had him to love us, to hear him tell me that I was beautiful and worthy of love or respect.
And I’m not gonna lie….it does kinda suck that my own dad is still not there for me. He’s still a “there but not there” kinda dad.

I wish the memories I have of my father wouldn’t have to be the nights he came home drunk. The many days spent with him sitting on the living room couch drinking himself away.
I wish I could say my memories were of my dad tucking me in at night, or reading me a bedtime story.

But I can’t say that all my memories are bad though. Because they’re not and I am thankful for those. Like the time he carried me on his back while we went for a walk. Or the almost faded memory of I holding onto him, standing on his shoes as he tried to walk around with me. 🙂

I have to say that I am very glad I at least had a dad around. And believe me it took me awhile to actually say and believe that.

But I realize now that my dad was in fact just a wounded man that actually had NO IDEA how to be a father. (And again it took me a long time to realize that also).
I found out His own father was a mean and cruel man. (Go figure).
That once even his own dad tried to kill him. .. And on and on.

But long story short. I came to forgive my dad.
Yes. I forgave him. It wasn’t easy.
But the freedom that came with that decision was mindblowing and beautiful! A day I will never forget.

I truly believe that many issues men and women deal with everyday are linked to a fatherless home.
((Read below))
I’m sorry you had no very present father. But know this that God is the Father to the fatherless.
-(Psalm 68:5)

And He does hear the crys of the fatherless!
-(Job 29:19)

Search out your heavenly Father and you WILL find everything you’ve ever searched for in a father.
And I know you can’t see Him now but I promise one day you will!!
And all your pain and awful memories will be gone.

You don’t have to seek your daddies love in anyone else. It won’t be found there. Your search can finally be over.

Love,
A once fatherless daughter

**Watch Father’s Love Letter:
http://youtu.be/NLzlnvPFJS4

** https://songsofintimacy.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/all-she-ever-really-wanted-was-a-daddy/

image

**Ready for this:
Statistics:

■63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
(US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.

■90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.

■85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)

■80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

■71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (National Principals Association Report

■85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes.

● Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves!

■43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]

■90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.

■■80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes

●Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.

■■24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.
■Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.
http://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

Father’s don’t believe for once that your job is insignificant.
Lead like Christ and you can’t go wrong.

image

****
photo credit: Stephen Poff via photopin cc
photo credit: CarbonNYC via photopin cc
photo credit: Daniel Rocal via photopin cc

Sexual Freedom-Multiple sex partners

Is sexual freedom really free?

Women are free to have sex with anyone they want.
Anytime they want.
Wherever they want.
“SEXUAL FREEDOM”.

But is it really “free” when it takes so much from you? When it robs you of so much. Whether you willingly give it or not. It WILL take from you.

Just stop and look around and you’ll notice countless of girls and women walking about…..that have had their dignity taken from them.
Their self-respect gone.
Their self-worth gone.
Their innocence, their purity, their softness even…GONE. ERASED. TAKEN. STOLEN. Most of the time given away freely by choice.
All in the name of “SEXUAL FREEDOM”.

I chose to give mine away at the age of 15.

My self-worth came from how much attention I could gather from the opposite sex.
It should’ve came directly from my father. Because that’s where I believe every girls self worth stems from. Begins from.
And well sadly I wasn’t given much attention from there.
But the longing was still there.
Inside me.
Just waiting to be fulfilled.
And since it didn’t come to me.
I went out searching for it on my own.
So…. when I was faced with the opportunity to finally gain some much needed attention…. Yup, you guessed it. I GAVE IN.
How many 15 yr old girls like me would’ve? How many DO.
Day after day after day.
And while I gained the attention I so desperately wanted my heart was in return losing so much.
My innocence gone.
My purity washed away.
My self-respect in the trash.
And little did I know at the time my self-worth was actually being torn to shreds.

I read this article and others about how having multiple sex partners actually makes young girls sad, depressed, and even suicidal.

And memories return of how I was unknowingly giving away the very essences that would’ve kept me content and safely on the road to happiness.
But instead I gave it up for short term “”love””, “fun”, and attention. And what was I left with?
Sadness.
Heartbreak. Which led to more sadness.
Depression. Which led to suicidal thoughts and feelings.
Yeah, all this at the tender age of only 16.

image

So what a lot of these young girls (and women) that are indulging themselves in “sexual freedom” don’t realize is that in reality IT ISN’T FREE!
IT DOES INDEED TAKE FROM YOU!
The Cost Is Terrible!

I’ve personally witnessed hearts torn, shattered, and bruised after they chose again and again and again to give their dignity away, their self-worth and self-respect away.
THIS IS REAL!!
And It’s happening around us every day!
Just stop awhile and look around. There she is. The girl that gives away her body night after night, party after party. Not because she’s a slut. But maybe because as she gives it up to some dude that is basking in the lust of it. She is in her own little world hoping that it will just quiet her hearts cry for love, attention, and self-worth.
But of course it WON’T!
IT NEVER DOES.
But sadly, she’ll continue trying. Again and again and again.
Same game. Only different faces.

And that my friend is the Multiple Sex Partner TRAP!

It’s so easy to fall into.
And once your in- it’ll strip you!
It’ll strip you of everything your heart truly is. The heart that God created and formed even before you were born.
It slowly chews away at it.
Leaving you feeling used.
Shamed. Disrespected.
Hardened. Calloused.
Bitter.
It’s an unbearable cycle almost like being on a merry-go-round that never stops spinning.

But there is a way out.
There is an escape route.

Jesus Christ made you to want love. To crave something more than what this world can offer and nothing in it can give you. So you would go after Him. So you would pursue Him for it. He has ALL you need. And He freely gives it! Now that is free. Because He already paid for it. He already paid for you.

HE ALREADY KNOWS YOUR WORTH!

You can finally stop searching! He’s right there. Just look up.
He hears your hearts cry.
He sees your souls longings.
And He says, Everything your searching for is in Me.

** Matthew 11:28-29 **
Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. … Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Are you or someone you know tired of being hurt by this evil trap?
Tired of it using you, abusing you, and making you cry?
Some cry themselves to sleep.
Some run back to it over and over again.
And there’s probably girls and women that actually kill themselves when they realize that this trap never did and never will satisfy or fill the deep hole they have in their heart.

image

But believe me. There is a way out. I know because He rescued me.
He took my ashes. (The mess I made.) And in return He gave me back my dignity, my self-worth!
I learned self-respect again.
I learned what purity truly meant.
And I finally can say I know what love is. And I promise you won’t find it anywhere else.

So if your young or old and hungry for attention. Run to the One who freely gives it. And don’t join the Multiple Sex Partners Trap.

***

photo credit: Chapendra via photopin cc

photo credit: °]° via photopin cc