I hate you.
I hate what you stand for.
I hate what you do to them.
I hate what you did to him.
I cry at times.
You see, you transform something in the mind.
Its hard to explain.
(But if you have endured a battle with pornography OR know someone who has you know exactly what I mean).
It’s like their mind has been taken hostage.
I know the pain you cause.
But know that I am NOT blaming the individuals you use for your sick pleasures.
I believe they too are in bondage.
You suffocate souls.
All that is left of them are weak, pitiful, sorrowful corpses.
You see porn, I was a victim of your gross game. You helped rip out my heart out of my chest and slice it in a million pieces. I’ll never forget that day.
The day I found out my husband had succumbed to your hellish pit.
Your mockery and laughter I’m sure rang in the background as my heart shriveled, my mind became foggy and time seemed to slow down.
I hate you porn.
Yes, I know. I know. He willingly gave in. He CHOSE to buy into his passion and desires all those moments.
But I doubt IF he had truly understood what was happening. What he was giving himself over to. And the trials that would now lay ahead of him he would never had tasted of your corrosion.
But he did. But he chose to see you for what you really are. And he walked away from your dungeon.
Yes, there is an escape. Even though you tell them there isn’t. THERE IS!
God rescued him. And I loved him.
Yes, I did the unbelievable.
But I hate you porn. Because I know who you really are.
I can see through your fabrication. And now he sees it too. Actually so many do.
I hate you for the way you messed up his mind. But I’m praying.
I still hurt. My heart still bleeds sometimes. I still wonder at times if I’m “good enough”.
Your lies at times fill my mind. Your so good at that.
Slowly my heart is being repaired. The memories and pain can be extremely excruciating when they flood over me.
But I know The Healer that makes all things new.
But I won’t try to downplay how evil you are.
Remember one thing porn. I’m coming after you. Not physically. Because I know that is not how you are fought. Many try that but only continue to suffer.
I’m coming after you with prayer.
For you are an invisible enemy. That prowls after spiritually weak men. And once you have them in your grasp…
YOU CASTRATE THEM.
The whole while they truly believe they are real men while you visiously take their strength and watch as they succumb to nothingness.
But you have one less man in your cell. One more man that KNOWS who you really are.
I pray more men will realize there is a way out. There is hope.
But it is not fought in a physical battle. It is way much more then that.
The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10)
That is exactly what you are. A thief.
You steal, kill, and enjoy destroying families, MARRIAGES, souls.
SO yes, I hate you. But because of you I have learned the true meaning of forgiveness.
I have felt what it is to shower someone that does not deserve it with true love and mercy. And it is then that Jesus’ horrible death becomes more understandable. We did not deserve His love but He Still willingly gave Himself to die for us. He willingly loves us at our worst.
Because of you I know how it feels to have God carry me and lift me up while my feet scrape the ground.
And I promise that alone is one of the most amazing feelings in the world.
As the old saying goes “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages”.
So thank you.
Because of you I learned how strong my God really is.
And He said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
(II Corinthians 12:9)
I’m sad to say that the author of this letter ended up not making it with her husband. Sadly, he ended up choosing pornography over her and their children.