I saw a photo yesterday that made me think. Deeply.
It was a picture of a beautiful woman.
Except she was almost naked and she was one of those Webcam girls.
You know the ones that show you all their “goods” just for a moment of feeling wanted.
That is what hit me.
I didn’t look at that girl with disdain or frustration. It was like God showed me what was really going on.
And it was this:
Every human has a desire to be wanted. That’s just the way God made us. After His own image.
Because even God desires you to want Him.
So we as humans do things that make us feel wanted. Why do u think girls become strippers & men become addicted to porn?
It makes them feel wanted.
I actually explained all this to my husband right after and he sat there and listened to me. He stared at me when I was done with an almost reverent look. I knew he knew it to be true.
I explained to him that is why a girl will become a stripper. Because while she is up there dancing she can; even if it’s for 10 mins, believe she is wanted. Her heart whispers “I am wanted”.
And the men watching porn. They can believe that they are also wanted.
It doesn’t matter at that momemt who rejected them in the past because at that moment they are wanted. Or so they convince themselves. And as they “believe” that, his heart whispers, “I am wanted”.
So why would a man give up porn if it causes them to feel that way? To feel accepted and wanted. Even if it’s just for 10 mins or an hour.
Let me tell you the desire to be wanted is not bad or wrong in itself. Because God Himself desires us to want Him.
I believe all the little things that God chooses to do for us is all an attempt for us to want Him. That is our hearts cry.
That is why I believe we as humans search out all kinds of things to feel wanted. We search for love in all the wrong places. We search for acceptance in so many vain persuits.
We wander why we feel more alone after and don’t realize that the One who created us is waiting to feel wanted from us also.
God put that emotion inside us to draw us to Him. But instead so many times we let it push us further from Him.
The thing is when your heart hurts after so much rejection…your willing to sacrifice anything to replace that hurt w/ some kind of peace. Even if it is a temporary peace.
As a teen girl I longed to be as far away from rejection as possible. I was sick of rejection from so many.
From not ever being pretty enough for any boy to not being noticed from my very own dad. My heart was in shreds. There seemed to be no cure for this ache I deeply had. Or so I thought. And those four words right there changed my life. I was running after so many empty dead-ends. I know now my desire to become a dancer was just a hopeless attempt to fill that hole I had to be wanted. And I know now that being in porn was just going to leave me more alone than I ever could’ve imagined.
All I really needed was something to satisfy the lonely ache I had inside me. Something I believe we all want.
Let me tell you I am proof that there is something out there that most definitely does satisfy that urge we all hold.
Believe me when I say that I know that to be true because if not I would not be writing this. I would be in a strip club somewhere. Or staring in pornography. Or even…. dead.
I came home one night and fell on my knees in my bedroom. Yes, I was tired of searching. Tired of aching. So tired of the hellish crys of just wanting to be wanted.
I guess you can say that night I finally wanted God. I desperately wholeheartedly wanted God. And I felt Him that night more real than I had ever.
It wasn’t until I truly wanted God. That I realized how much He had wanted me all along. How much He had called out to me many times before.
I never understood up to then how much God had wanted me. He had been on a search of His own. For me. I had been trying to find something or someone to fill that empty hole in my heart when God had been coming after me all along.
Because you see friend you are the only thing that truly satisfies God.
He wants us to want Him.
It’s as simple as that.
I pray you understand that your search to just be wanted can be over. Mine did. Once I realized who wanted me above all else. And once you come to know that, it will not matter who doesn’t want you. Because you will have found the missing piece. The cure for your ache. You will finally know that you had always been wanted.
That’s the beauty of it all…that we are wanted not because of what we have to offer. But because of who we are.
No fronts. No masks. No lies.
So next time you notice one of those Webcam girls on your twitter. Or hear a story of how a friend of a friend is addicted to pornography.
Remember the’re searching. They are all just searching. And the saddest thing of it all is if only they knew that the One thing their searching for is really searching for them.
Waiting just waiting to be wanted by them.