Begging for love

Why do you beautify your way to SEEK love?   -Jeremiah 2:33

It hurts me to see so so many girls beg for love.
So many of them seeking to be loved. And sadly, willing to do about almost anything to get it or feel it.

At only 15 yrs old I was willing to give myself away for “love”.
I willingly dressed in a way that I believed would gain me “love”.
I behaved in ways and did things that I can look back at now and know that it was all just an attempt to have and feel “love”.

The problem was… that I didn’t even know what love was.

I thought love was… a boy wanting me because that must’ve meant I was beautiful. Right?

So I desperately tried to do things that would make me ‘feel’ “beautiful”.
But that was before I knew what love meant. What love is. And what love IS NOT!

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We run after things or run after people hoping that they will make us feel beautiful.
And sometimes it works.
But it’s always temporary.

Girls might put on extra make-up. (I know I did).
They dress to impress. (Showing as much skin as possible or by hiding under designer named clothes).
And sadly, Oh so many fall into the MULTIPLE SEX PARTNERS TRAP!

Giving up their virginity, their self-worth, or their dignity for a night of “love”.

But under all the attempts they are just simply begging for love.
Without even knowing it.

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I begged for what I thought was love and when I believed I had received it I couldn’t let it go. Even though I should’ve. Even though others could clearly see that IT WASN’T LOVE.

It was like some twisted cruel joke that I continued to be a part of.
Except I wasn’t laughing but all the while the devil thought it hilarious.

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I thought I had finally found “love” when I was 15.
But this so called love didn’t last. Even though the young ignorant girl that I was believed it would.

I had given up my virginity.
But little did I know I had also lost so much more.
I had burned away more of what little self-respect I had.

The boy I had given myself to never loved me. How could he? When he hadn’t known what real love was neither. But no matter how many times he disrespected me I went back to him.
Of course, I had to. He was the only form of “love” I knew and had.
And so as the hole in my heart grew. The door I had ignorantly opened was about to pour out a hellish pathway intended for me by the devil himself.

A path so unbearably tormenting that if I had known I would’ve probably went into a complete state of hysteria.

A road full of horror.
A road full of shameful acts.
A road full of unimaginable pain and hurt.
A road covered in lies, guilt, regret, and disdain.
A road I will never truly know because only months later.. (January of 2002 to be exact)
my begging for love came to an end!

But you have played the harlot with many lovers;
“Yet return to Me”, says the Lord.
-Jeremiah 3:1

I learned I didn’t have to beg.
I learned I didn’t have to beautify my way to seek love.

The love I had always wanted was only found in the One who had created it and proved it the day He sent His One and only son to earth to die a bloody and horrific death.

John 15:13-
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

I John 4:19-
We love … because He first loved us.

And I have learned that there is NOTHING that I can do that can make Him love me any less.

Romans 8:39-
nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So why beg?
When you absolutely don’t have to.
The truth is this friend….
When Christ created you He created you with wonderful plans in mind. But the devil always has plans of his own as well.
Once we as women stand up and believe the truth that we don’t have to beautify our way to seek love.
We don’t have to beg for “love”. We will see more men rise up. Less girls allowing themselves to be used.
Because remember love that must be begged for is not truly love.

God gave up His only son willingly. For you. For me.

Think of it like this:
You were held captive alone and tormented. Afraid and abandoned.
No hope from being rescued from your horrible master.
But than a King from who knows where leaves all his majesty, all his comfort and riches to SEEK YOU!

Because that is REAL love!
**REAL LOVE SEEKS YOU.**

Why do you beautify your way to SEEK love?   -Jeremiah 2:33

Oh and to conclude that story …. That King finds you! And not only rescues you but also destroys ALL power of your once horrible master! Of him ever taking you captive again. Of him forcing you to do things unimaginable.

So of course you become mesmerized by this kings sacrificial love.

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Well that is what Jesus has done for you. When He died that awful death on the cross.

He seeks you. But of course He is a gentleman and will not force Himself upon anyone.

He seeks and waits.
Ready to rescue you from your horrible tyrant of a master.
The devil.
Ready to destroy for good that road the devil has led you on. Or is about to lead you on.

Like my Bio states if the King had not or should I say if I hadn’t allowed him to rescue me that night in January of ’02.
Chances are that I would’ve went down that pathway the devil had for me. A road of unforgettable and tormenting memories.

When you realize you no longer have to beg for love. You no longer need to beautify your way to seek love. You will be free.

…but perfect love casts out all fear..
-1 John 4:18

And believe me when I say it’s a beautiful and humbling thing to finally be free!

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With lots of love,
Songsofintimacy

Jeremiah 2:24-
Those who desire her don’t need to search, for she goes running to them!

————
photo credit: girl/afraid via photopin cc
photo credit: Send me adrift. via photopin cc
photo credit: http://beyondwaiting.com/2010/12/11/huggingbabyjesus/

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3 thoughts on “Begging for love

  1. Pingback: Happy Birthday the year I would’ve died | songsofintimacy

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