She knew deep inside of her that it wasn’t what she truly wanted…..
She knew she’d wake up in the morning feeling regret.
But she just wanted love.
And everytime she gave herself away to some new guy…the shame and regret the next morning was almost too much to carry. But her need and desire for real love overpowered her way to quickly.
Even if the love lasted for 20 minutes, an hour, or a day. It seemed enough to satisfy her. But the loneliness always returned.
Until she met him.
Oh he was super fine. Everything all in one package. He just swept her off her feet.
She just knew he was the one.
She knew now she would finally put to rest that voice in her head. She knew she would finally be able to tell her dead daddy goodbye.
But as she had heard once before…all good things must come to an end. It did.
Her loneliness choking her half to death.
She ran back to him over and over again.
It was like no matter what he did… she needed him. He was her drug that numbed all her pain. When she was with him… she was on top of the world. But his messing around on her and his cocky attitudes and his arrogance and all his immature ways were just not enough for her to leave. It was almost like an addiction.
NOT to him.
To the “love” she felt .
The feeling of being WANTED.
The feeling of being NEEDED.
The feeling of being showered with ATTENTION.
Even though it was always, always short-lived.
What if someone had told her she was WORTH so much more.
What if someone had told her that she wasn’t a whore. Or any other disrespecting name that people seem to call each other to hurt and injure them.
What if her daddy had ben a good man and a good father. One that was home more and actually cared for her.
What if that “super fine” man she had honestly believed was the one had never shattered her heart. What if he had been the one. The one to heal her heart. The one to bandage her festering wound.
He wasn’t and he didn’t.
But she did finally walk away from his dirty ways.
And she never went back!
Because years later she had found the Healer. WelL….. He found her…
He found her hiding in darkness.
Wallowing in her past.
Suffocating on the desire to be WANTED, NEEDED, LOVED.
And He gently called to her in the most comforting voice she had ever heard….
He quieted the demon voice inside her.
The lies broken.
Than came the moment she let go… and forgave …her father. The voice blown out.
Yes, the scar was still there. But from this moment on she would NO longer pick at it!
She would allow it to ..HEAL.
And let Him guide her
For all along He had WANTED her.
But she hadn’t heard His voice… she hadn’t been able to..not until she had allowed her loneliness to draw her to Him.